Fri, December 22, 2006


Hark the Herald Angels Sing.

Please Come Home for Christmas. O Come All Ye Faithful.

Merry Christmas Darling. White Christmas. The soundtrack from A Charlie Brown Christmas.

These are just a few of the many holiday classics that send me into tears.

Not so much just when I listen, but watch out if I start to sing along. Not happy tears, but powerfully sad tears. And every year I ask myself, “What’s with that?”

If I’m walking through the mall and O Holy Night comes on, watch out. And don’t get me started on just about any holiday song by Nat King Cole.

So what red-and-green, ho, ho, ho, under-the-mistletoe chip is missing that makes me sad instead of joyous at this time of year when certain hummable tunes are playing?

It’s not like I make an effort to avoid holiday music. I love it, in fact.

I have so many Christmas CD’s (including a new one from a fellow blogger), that D. just rolls his eyes when I come home with any addition to the PunditMom Holiday Collection. I can’t wait for it to be an appropriate date on the calendar to break out my stash, but for some reason it flips a switch in my brain (or, more accurately, my tear ducts) that causes me to choke up if I so much as start singing any refrain, which can be a bit embarrassing around a soon-to-be seven-year-old who is flinging herself around the house to The Nutcracker.

If you’re thinking that I’m writing this because I have stumbled into a bit of wisdom or insight about this Christmas-time quirk, I haven’t.

It’s not that I had bad Christmases as a child. There are no unhappy memories of department store Santas or feelings that I missed out on some holiday tradition (with the exception of that ever-elusive Easy Bake Oven, which I never got, but which my parents are giving to Rachel this year)!

So I continue to struggle with this one. I know if I spent a couple of years with a therapist, I could probably trace it back to the real trigger. If I was going to vent about things I should dissect in my life, I know I could come up with better ones to spend my money on than the sadness that creeps through me with just a few bars of Silent Night.

Or maybe not. Maybe it would be worth a couple of nickels at Lucy’s five-cent psychiatric booth mining my Christmases-past to dig up the real reason I can’t sing Away in a Manger without having a box of tissues handy.

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3 Responses to “Songs”

  1. modmom Says:

    happy holiday hugs punditmom!
    we love charlie brown’s christmas :)
    it’s fun to share all that stuff with my daughter. she loves alvin + the chipmunks singing christmas songs

  2. Mrs. Chicky Says:

    Did everyone wish they had an Easy Bake Oven and never got one? It sure seems like that.

    Happy Holidays from one Charlie Brown Christmas lover to another.

  3. Gunfighter Says:

    Triggers… who knows?

    For some reason, I get choked up when I sing “Hark! ,The Herald Angels Sing”. Not when I hear it, but when I sing it. Thats the only one… It isn’t a sad song. No memory of being beaten while hearing it or anything like that… it just happens.

    When your therapists tell you what the problem is… clue me in, we can do a two-for-one!

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