An open letter to Madonna & Angelina

Tue, January 9, 2007


Dear Madonna & Angelina,

First, both of you take a deep breath.

OK, now, as one adoptive mother to two others, I want to have a little sit down with you. There is no need to create a contest for who is the better mother by adoption. (I’ve already got my eyes on that one!) ;)

So I wanted to drop you a short note about how we can turn this nasty little news cycle into something positive.

I know you’re both PRETTY testy these days, what with the whole Malawi thing for you, Madge, and, Angelina, I can’t even think about the pressure of being a mother to three kids AND being married to Brad Pitt. (Alright, I lied, maybe I can imagine being married to Brad Pitt– it’s the more than one child thing I know I’m not cut out for). Anyway, I digress.

You don’t know me, but I’m part of your club, too — no, no, not the one where you’re fabulously wealthy, famous and hounded by countless paparazzi –I’m talking about the one of becoming a mother by adoption. Since we all have that common experience, I feel like I have a vested interest when the world sees high-profile adoptive parents sparring over adoption choices. It gives the rest of us a bad name and, ultimately, reflects poorly on all our families.

Angelina, was it really necessary to slam Esther and question the legality of adoption from Malawi? Are you really prepared to get into a smack-down over which is better — Malawi or Cambodia? ‘Cause, as I recall, Angelina, you had a few of your own little legal problems at the time you adopted your son Maddox, and that all turned out OK.

And I wouldn’t want to see your disagreement get physical — I know you did the whole Tomb Raider thing, but I think Madonna could take you.

So, here’s what I propose. Let’s all chill, think about our children, and come up with a plan to get the rest of the world to understand that our families are “real” families, and not a second choice or second best. The two of you are uniquely positioned to help on that front, so here’s what I propose:

1. Have your people call Meg and Rosie and Nicole and Steven. Set up a meeting to figure out how all you celebrity adoptive parents can stop the noise coming from some circles that one type of adoption is better or more appropriate than others; and,

2. Call Larry King’s people and Oprah’s people, and have them set up some shows where you all appear and give adoption a real boost. There are so many families who would love to have children, but don’t think of adoption as a real choice. Think of what 60 minutes of your time with the King-meister or Oprah could do to get children out of orphanages and foster care and into loving homes.

Thanks for taking the time to read my letter. I’m sure you girls will be able to work all this out and have a great photo-op real soon!

Sincerely yours,


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7 Responses to “An open letter to Madonna & Angelina”

  1. Lawyer Mama Says:

    Great idea! If everyone could work together instead of tearing down others’ choices, the world would be a much better place.

  2. Oh, The Joys Says:

    High five, sister!

  3. Queen of the Mayhem Says:

    Personally, I don’t think Angelina should be passing judgement on anyone! You know what they say about people who live in glass houses. ( They shouldn’t throw stones!) At least that is what my mom always told me. I am not sure I would want either one of these ladies being a poster child for something that really meant something to me. Why don’t you call Oprah? :)

  4. Momish Says:

    Oh, I am so out of it, I didn’t even know these two were going at it (although I DID know they both wanted to adopt kids from Africa). I think they should definitely take your advice!

  5. Anali Says:

    Great post! I was wondering why nobody had called Angelina on what she had said. I was really surprised that she decided to go down that road with Madonna. It didn’t seem very productive and I don’t think she is going to win this one. Also the celebrities arguing thing is getting a bit annoying.

  6. Kelley Says:

    Wasn’t that whole story ridiculous? The worst part was that CNN found it necessary to put the celebrity spat on the front page of their website.

  7. Lisa Says:

    Especially when you consider the stories that CNN isn’t sharing…

    Such as:

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