Behold, the Thumb Condom!

Fri, March 16, 2007


Now that I have your attention, let me explain.

Perhaps it was
Linda Hirshman’s revenge mojo that I fell victim to Monday night.

No, she didn’t show up at my home or post something else on my blog about her opinions on what she considers my less-than-noteworthy life path.

This little story has to do with dinnertime. The bane of so many mothers’ existences — trying to get everyone together at the table and finding something new and interesting to cook that doesn’t require the skill of a Top Chef contestant or the budget of Anthony Bourdain.

As I was attempting to use my
new favorite cookbook (and a Cool Mom Pick!), my Wusthof slipped as I was cutting up the chicken breast, causing what could only be called my Dan Aykroyd/Julia Child moment:

“Oh, now I’ve done it — I’ve cut the dickens out of my finger!” (Insert spurting Type A- here as I sliced open my left thumb).

OK, I didn’t lose as much blood as the SNL faux-Julia, but suffice it to say that I was severely reprimanded by both the doctor and the nurse at the emergency room the following morning for not getting my butt there when it happened — “Sorry, it’s too late to stitch it up now.”

So, they bandaged it as best they could, made me promise not to wash any dishes for a week (golden!) and dispensed some supplies to help the “laceration” heal.

As the nurse poured them into my hand, I looked up at her and sheepishly said, “Thumb condoms?”

All she said was, “Yup!” Clearly, I was not the first to utter those words.

My mother was quick to point out that they are more correctly called finger gloves, but, hey, that’s no fun to say!
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11 Responses to “Behold, the Thumb Condom!”

  1. Gunfighter Says:

    Poor soul!

    My adorable, wicked smart, highly educated wife isn’t allowed to handle knives… not that she’d want to anyway… she has me to do that stuff for her.

    Heal quickly… in the meantime, I am going to see if I can poach a recipe or two.



  2. Lawyer Mama Says:

    Baaahaaaa! OK, I’m not laughing at your horrible cut – OUCH! But those finger condoms are hilarious!

  3. Queen of the Mayhem Says:

    Wow! You learn something new everyday! I MUST find a conversation that I can manipulate into talking about “thumb condoms”!

    Off to think!

    Hope your thumb feels better soon!

  4. impromptublogger Says:

    Ouch! Love those “finger condoms”! Now you can train your dd to become your personal “kitchen slave”. 6-year-olds still think dishwashing is fun – 10-year-olds don’t! ;-)

  5. Momish Says:

    No dishes! Yeah! No, seriously, sorry for your poor hand. I hope you heal quickly. Too funny about the “finger gloves”. Stay clear of knives for a while.

  6. Mamacita Says:

    I love my Wustof,but I’ve never bought the line that “a sharp knife is a safe knife.” Also, did you know that the leading cause of ER visit on the weekends is wounds incurred by cutting bagels?

  7. Mrs. Chicky Says:

    Thumb condoms? Ha! I’ve never heard of that.

    Sorry to hear about your finger. We recently had our Wustofs sharpened and now I live in fear of them.

  8. Shannon Says:

    Owie. Hope your thumb feels better soon.

    But I’m glad there is some joy in the discovery of the thumb condoms. And just think, they could have so many other uses too. Emergency replacement caps for those chunky crayola markers, or little tiny balloons for Barbie’s birthday party.

  9. JudesMommy Says:

    No dishes! Heaven!

    Oh, and thanks for the SNL Julia skit reminder. Good ‘ole days.

    Here’s hoping your thumb mends tres fast and it’s not too sore in the meantime!

  10. rivergirlie Says:

    i think you’re being very frivolous over this important subject! it’s important to prevent unplanned reproduction between digits, otherwise your hands would become overpopulated – your fingers would be all thumbs!

  11. Mom101 Says:

    I am glad that they’re not actually reusable if only because they’re advertised as reusable. Eek.

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