My maternal grandmother, who I called Grammy, died last night. She was 88.
I’m a lucky woman that I made it into my 40′s and still had living grandparents (my grandfather passed away a few years ago at the same age), though Grammy hadn’t really been with us for years.
The doctors said she didn’t have Alzheimer’s, but whatever it was that took her bright eyes, her love of books and crossword puzzles, and the laughter that her assorted grandchildren and great-grandchildren gave her, before it took her body, wasn’t good.
As I sit here remembering her, just having gotten the phone call, I know I’ve been saying good-bye to her for years, but I still wasn’t ready.
In many ways, she was my second mother, being just a week shy of her 40th birthday when I, the first grandchild, was born.
I spent many glorious weeks each summer on “vacation” with a relatively young set of grandparents on their little Pennsylvania farm. Those are the moments I’m going to try to think about today.
The hot days spent splashing around in their little above-ground swimming pool, riding the horses, watching way too much TV, learning how to sew my own clothes and getting dessert at Dairy Queen even if I didn’t finish my dinner — that’s the stuff that my summers were made of and the things I longed to recreate year after year, even after descending into surly teenhood.
Grammy never knew PunditGirl — by the time she became part of our family, Grammy had already descended into the darkness of dementia, not recognizing any family visitors for years. That’s one of the things I’m very sad about today, because Grammy would have loved PunditGirl’s sense of humor and curiousity.
I am hoping that the next few days will be filled with collective family memories, not of a woman whose failing brain prevented her from enjoying the last years of her life, but of a vital woman who always embraced her grandchildren, even after we became adults and didn’t come around for our summer sleep-overs anymore.
April 19th, 2007 at 12:32 pm
My sympathies, Joanne, to you and your family.
April 19th, 2007 at 12:35 pm
I’m so sorry. We’re never entirely ready for something like that.
April 19th, 2007 at 1:50 pm
I’m so sorry. My Gramy died in January and was beginning to suffer from similar memory issues. It’s not easy. Hopefully you and your family will come together around the happy memories.
April 19th, 2007 at 2:06 pm
I’m sorry for your loss.
April 19th, 2007 at 2:11 pm
I’m sorry that you’ve lost your grammy, but I’m so happy you have such wonderful memories.
April 19th, 2007 at 2:18 pm
I’m sorry about your loss. I never really had grandparents, and my dd lost her last “real’ grandparent Dec. 2005.
The memory issues remind me of the wonderful Dixie Chicks song “Silent House”. to me that song is the best one on that CD.
April 19th, 2007 at 2:55 pm
I’m so sorry. I’ll be thinking of you. I lost my Grandfather in February, so I know how it is…
Best,
OTJ
April 19th, 2007 at 2:56 pm
Oh! I am so very sorry. I think you sent me a tender word when my grandfather died a few months back. I remember nothing dulling the ache, but there was a distinct sense of relief that people acknowledged his departure. I am so sorry that you lost her those years ago, and again now.
April 19th, 2007 at 6:29 pm
Aw. I’m sorry for your loss. I am glad that you have so many wonderful memories of her.
April 19th, 2007 at 9:01 pm
My sympathies to you and your family. From your words she sounds like she was a wonderful woman.
I recently lost two grandfathers but I still have my two grandmothers. I’ll hug them a little harder when I see them this weekend.
April 20th, 2007 at 7:09 am
I’m sorry about your Grandmother, PM.
Like you, I have been saying goodbye to my last surviving granparent for years… nd like you, I’m still not ready.
Can we ever be?
April 20th, 2007 at 8:04 am
I’m so sorry.
April 20th, 2007 at 12:48 pm
I’m so sorry.
Both of my mother’s parents are still alive and over 90. Reading your post I am reminded how long it has been since I visited them…..
April 20th, 2007 at 3:48 pm
I am sorry for your loss and have been dealing with the same thing. I will toast your grammy tonight. See my blogg you might find the story interesting.
April 20th, 2007 at 6:42 pm
Thanks to everyone for all the kind comments. They are much appreciated.
April 20th, 2007 at 8:40 pm
I’m so sorry to hear this news Joanne. I was never close to my grandparents. I envy and admire you. Your family will be in my prayers. What a beautiful tribute.
April 20th, 2007 at 9:23 pm
I am so sorry about your grandmother. I hope you find comfort in having your family around you at this time. It is hard, but you have your memories of her to pass on to your daughter and she will know her as you did, threw your eyes.
April 22nd, 2007 at 10:12 am
I will pray for you and your family. Saying goodbye is something that is never easy to do!
My thoughts are with you.
April 22nd, 2007 at 3:32 pm
So sorry for your loss.
All best,
Paige
April 22nd, 2007 at 9:19 pm
Thank you so much for all your kind thoughts. We are all off tomorrow for the funeral. It will be a tough one.
April 24th, 2007 at 9:28 pm
I’m so sorry for your loss … how very hard for you.
April 25th, 2007 at 12:08 pm
I am sorry about your Grammy. I watched my Mimi drift away into dementia before she passed away about a year ago. To me it was much harder than losing my father to lung cancer at about the same time. It really is the “long goodbye.”
I hope your memories of your time with your Grammy bring you and PunditGirl happiness for many years.
April 29th, 2007 at 8:15 pm
I am so sorry, my friend. I am so far behind on my blog reading and just saw this. Please accept my sympathies, and my hopes that you and your family will be comforted by many wonderful memories of your Grammy.