Aloha, Turdblossom?

Tue, August 14, 2007


As our evil villain rides slowly off into the sunset, the townspeople breathe a collective sigh of relief.

“Our town will be safe now that he’s gone,” announces the sheriff, as the setting sun glints off his lawman’s badge. Everyone cheers and heads back to their little homesteads, feeling safe and secure in the knowledge that right has triumphed.

And we all know what happens in the movies after that scene, right?

The defeated evil-doer returns to take his revenge!

How could he not have been chastened by his initial defeat? How could he be so bold as to return to the land that made it clear he was not welcome?

If ever there was a political villain who would not be chastened, it is Karl Rove. As with all good villains, he has many aliases — aka Turdblossom, Bush’s Brain, The Architect.

But if there is one thing I know for sure about this particular brand of bad guy, it’s this — Karl Rove NEVER does anything without a complete strategic plan. He’s leaving because he wants to spend more time with his family? No one even knew he HAD a family!

He’s leaving because the the current Chief of Staff told White House employees that if they stayed after Labor Day he would consider that a commitment through to January 2009? Like the man that Bush can’t operate without would be pushed around by someone just because of his title?

Do I look like I just fell off the turnip truck?

There is one thing I believe about all this — it’s part of a master plan, we just don’t know what it us yet, though I have my suspicions and it can be summed up in two words — Mitt Romney.

Sure, Rove says he has no plans and all the campaigns claim they’re not interested. But let’s not forget the following:

1. A large portion of Jeb Bush’s former staff from his days as Florida governor now work for Romney.

2. Doro Bush Koch, the president’s daughter, has already held at least one fundraiser for Romney.

Would it be too much of a stretch to think that since the Bush’s have already put their behind-the-scenes imprimatur on Romney, that this is just the next step?

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Let’s talk in a year and see how much ‘family time’ Rove’s wife and son are getting while the Republican Party that Rove conceived and gave birth to struggles for air.

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14 Responses to “Aloha, Turdblossom?”

  1. Mamma Says:

    yep. He just wanted to wait for the straw poll.

    And was I the only one who thought he and the President behaved like a love-sick high school couple being separated by their parents at the press conference yesterday?


  2. margalit Says:

    Bite your freaking tongue, woman. Rove and Romney… now that is a recipe for the end of the world as we know it. Romney is SO evil and he’s smart. Unlike Shrub, the combination of Rove and Romney could literally spell a world war the likes of which we could never survive. Romney is dangerous. He destroyed my state already. It will take years to recover the social services he cut to the bone. No way he should ever be president.

  3. jen Says:

    i completely agree. in fact, it was the first thing i thought of. ok, now what, you asshole. (sorry)

  4. Lawyer Mama Says:

    Oh. dear. god.

    You just struck fear in my heart, PM.

  5. Paige Says:

    Yeah, I wouldn’t imagine that Rove would just drop back five and be a family man or whatever. I’m sure there’s some master plan afoot and what you’ve just spelled out makes perfect sense.

  6. Michele Says:

    I knew the whole “more time with the family” story line stunk, but I wasn’t sure what it stunk of. You nailed it so well.

  7. Mrs. Chicky Says:

    Okay, this scares me. It really, really scares me. Normally in this type of situation I would go hide under my covers, but I can’t do that now. This evil duo must be defeated!

  8. SusieJ Says:

    I find this all tough to digest — fear, outrage — they must be stopped.

  9. Lisa Says:

    Turdblossom. That is funny.

    And I’m with michelle… Smells like….

  10. QT Says:

    I couldn’t agree more. No way he is spending more time with the fam.

    And I agree with mamma, the whole press conference had a brokeback mountain feel to it…

  11. Mauigirl Says:

    I hadn’t realized the Romney connection. I did read something that implied he might be preparing to help Jeb Bush become President in the future. That thought scared me as it was. But at least it was farther down the road. Romney is a threat right now. Ugh!

  12. Shannon Says:

    It is really a shame that the ‘elected’ leadership of our country is in such large part decided by political horse trading and so little is left to popular vote.

  13. aimee / greeblemonkey Says:

    I think this might be my first time commenting… but I totally think you nailed it on the head.

    As soon as this was announced my hubby and I looked at each other and said, “Right!, who is he setting himself up to go work for???”

    Evil doesn’t just pull up stakes and ride off into the sunset.

  14. Samatha Stickers Says:

    He may be riding off into the sunset, but the witch is not dead and will be back for the sequel.

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