When Mr. PunditMom and I decided to end our hellish hour-plus commute each way to work into the District of Columbia, we knew we had an important decision to make — in the District or in Maryland? (Sorry, Virginia — it’s that whole crossing the river thing!).
The reason that location was a particularly important decision was because we knew that in the not-too-distant future we would be traveling to China to bring home our new PunditBaby and we were thinking about schools.
Our reasoning went like this — if we buy a house in Maryland, we can spend $x more because she will be able to go to the public schools. We assumed if we bought a house in D.C., there was a higher likelihood that we would end up going down the private school road, and would need to be saving money for tuition.
Ahhh, the best laid plans.
The things I loved about the public schools in our neighborhood were the diversity, the historically good reputation AND, for a few grades, PunditGirl would actually be able to walk to school!
As PunditGirl grew older, it became clear to us that there were a variety of reasons why, at least early on, our public school would not be the right place — some personal to her and some at the school. She’s a kid who makes her mind up very quickly and if she has a bad experience at something, forget about trying to convince her to give it a second chance. We worried that there was a pretty good chance she would decide that school was not the place for her if we didn’t find a way to do as much as possible to make the first few years as good as possible.
We know we’re lucky we could even consider this as a choice. When you only have one child to put through school, it’s obviously easier to make those finances work.
The good news is she’s thriving. And whether she stays where she is now or goes into the public school later is a decision we struggle with every year.
But when we decided to become private school parents, there was a consequence I hadn’t bargained on.
I made a lot of good friendships with the mothers at PunditGirl’s preschool — mothers whose daughters were PunditGirl’s good friends, as well, and would be going to the public school. To say there was awkwardness between us as I explained that PunditGirl would not be riding the big yellow school bus with their children would be an understatement. It took us a while to get past that moment where our school decision was not perceived as a critique of theirs.
I understand it’s hard to shake that “private school” stereotype — heck, we had it ourselves. As two parents who are the product of public schools, we wrangled with the decision for a long time. But for now, for PunditGirl it’s the right one. And luckily for us, our friends have come to understand how we ended up being private school parents.
So at least for now, no walking and no big yellow school bus. PunditMom’s Chauffeur Service here, twice a day, every day.
Luckily, that commute is only ten minutes!
**************************************
Cross-posted from DC Metro Moms Blog where all the posts today are on the topic of education.
Also, in keeping with the education theme, I’ve got a little something interesting for you to read over at PunditMom Reviews today. I promise, it’s “to die” for!
Plus, I still don’t have a winner over at my post-Halloween book giveaway contest!! Some of you have been SO CLOSE!
November 8th, 2007 at 11:14 am
It was a decision that was best for your family…
And i am glad the PunditGirl is thriving…
I always believe in instincts, and from the sounds of it, yours has not steered you wrong…
November 8th, 2007 at 5:56 pm
Imagine what people say when they find out we home school and they could attend a DOD school. Our boys will never return to public school. My oldest had 54 students in his fifth grade class. (in a DOD school) It all comes down to priorities. Once we return to the states they will attend private schools.
As parents we have to do what is best for our children. You have done that with PunditGirl.
November 8th, 2007 at 11:22 pm
I went to what we call a “state school” but it was a “grammar school” which means that it selected its pupils by academic ability. As a result I did not go to my local “state” school and frankly, if I had, my life would have been very different. I certainly would never have gone to Oxford.
Our private schools (confusingly named “public schools”) arguably provide a higher standard of education.
As a Labour Paryt member I instinctively support state schools and resent the maintenace of class division that private schools represent. However, my commitment has never been tested. Faced with the choice of wat s most readily consonant with my political principles and what is in the best interests of my child I worry that my political principle would vanish in seconds.
This has been consistently what has happened with Labour Party MPs including firebrand Dianne Abbott.
Where there are really good state schools they tend to have tiny geographical catchment areas. All around them are houses that have monstrous price premia attached to them. MIddle class parents committed to state education can escape the bad schools by spending as much as they would on school fees on higher mortgages instead as they move to near the good schools.
That this still goes on is a sad indictment of the government I campaigned for.