My PunditGirl has worries in her little eight-year-old head, and I don’t know how to help. Not your run-of-the-mill second-grade traumas of love/hate relationships with the boys who chase girls on the playground or not getting the latest Hannah Montana CD. She manages those like a champ.
She’s struggling with more grown-up problems, ones that those of us who claim to be adults have a rough time managing.
We play games. We try to talk about them. I invented the ‘worry-nator’ last night to suck the troubling thoughts out of her head before bedtime. But nothing is working. She clings to her tsuris like a chimp on a vine.
After a couple of tragedies in our family in recent months (which I won’t go into for a lot of different reasons), suffice it to say that PunditGirl is learning about loss and the fragility of life.
It’s not going so well.
Mix in the looming end of the school year, separation from a teacher she equates with Roald Dahl’s fantastically beatific Miss Honey, stir in the departure last year of one of her best friends from school and add another one in the wings, and you’ve got a girl who is having a hard time containing the crazy, worry thoughts in her head about permanency.
Which is not good, since she still wonders about and can’t understand why her China Mom (and Dad) didn’t keep her.
We’ve worked really hard to patch the emotional hole in her heart – the one where we pour in the love and attention and assurances that we won’t leave her, but it drips out, leaving her empty and troubled again.
The point of all this? I guess there isn’t a point other than the fact that I’m fumbling to come up with a way to re-route the well-worn paths of concern in her brain and make the worries stop, at least the ones that make her believe that she’s not worthy of love.
I know a Xanax is out of the question, but how do I give her brain some quiet moments to recharge and let a little forever love seep in?