I was asked last week whether I thought the anticipated appearance of Michelle Obama on The View was calculated to soften her image and reach out to the stay-at-home moms who are fans of the show. At that moment, my gut said some consultants (and maybe even her husband??) are sticking their noses where they really don’t belong.
Talking about whether Michelle Obama needs “softening” is (yes, I’m going to use the word again) sexist to me on a couple of different levels.
First, why is there an idea that a strong, educated and accomplished woman needs to have that downplayed to be viewed as an acceptable wife and First Lady?
As much as some of us wanted Hillary Clinton to win the presidency for the message that could send our daughters, why isn’t the image of Michelle Obama in this campaign equally empowering? I’m more than happy to have PunditGirl learn that Michelle came from a modest family who worked hard to help put her through college. As someone who had to work several jobs and take out school loans because my farming parents didn’t have the money to send me to college, I want my daughter know that: (1) women can do whatever they want, but that (b) it’s not all going to be handed to you and you’ve got to work for what you want.
I also want my eight-year-old daughter to learn that there’s nothing wrong with have opinions and being outspoken enough and confident enough to express them, even if others disagree.
Michelle Obama sends those messages loud and clear.
Second, why are appearances on “women’s” television shows seen as something less than any other campaign stop? The suggestion that campaign-related events that are aimed at women are somehow less worthy and not as important as speaking in front of a union crowd or landing a slot on the Today Show is yet one more way that the perception of women voters are lessened in the election process.
Admittedly, I wasn’t happy that Barbara Walters started off the show with the pantyhose-or-no-pantyhose debate for Michelle or that someone felt the need to have the potential first lady engage in a discussion with Matthew Broderick about what his five-year-old son eats. That just feeds into the perceptions that we ladies are more worried about “girly” things than politics. I’m happy to have those discussions (I’m clearly a no pantyhose kind of gal and PunditGirl and Broderick’s son are both on the buttered noddles diet), but isn’t this still just another effort to reach voters that should be respected for what it is?
We live in a new era of media and voter outreach, so, in my book, whatever avenues campaigns can tap into are ones that should be explored. Shows like The View aren’t better or worse, they’re just aimed at a certain demographic. And, as people keep saying, if women are the demographic that’s going to elect the next president, then Barack Obama and John McCain would be pretty foolish to ignore them or for journalists to think less of them and the shows they watch while they’re doing laundry or working at their computers.
Some say Michelle Obama is in for a rough ride from the GOP and that the attack machine is at the ready to use her strengths as a way to fight against her husband and that her appearance on The View was meant to head that off at the pass.
I have a piece of advice for the Obama campaign — stop worrying about whether Michelle is softer or gentler. Don’t play into the smear agenda. Let Michelle be herself — strong, confident and positive — and turn the GOP’s faulty strategy against itself.
Trust me, there are plenty of women, Democrats and Republicans alike, who relate to Michelle Obama more than Cindy McCain. Step up and use it for your advantage, even if it’s on The View.
Cross-posted from MOMocrats.
June 18th, 2008 at 11:51 am
One other thing I think we should focus on, especially for the sake of our kids, is that a successful marriage or committed relationship is a partnership between two people. A marriage that is dominated by only one party is not successful. While Barack may be the partner with the career in politics, he wouldn’t be in the position he is today without an equally strong partner supporting his back.
Michelle is an amazing woman in her own right (aren’t all moms?), but pair her up with someone with an equal drive and determination, and you have a couple that has the potential to do amazing thing. It may take some extra work to keep a marriage healthy between two determined individuals, but the payout for putting in that time and effort is far greater than the sum of its parts. Our kids need to see that a partnership displaying a united front relies on the strength of BOTH people.
June 18th, 2008 at 3:45 pm
Speaking of the treatment of Michelle Obama and possible “first ladies” in general, check out this ridiculous line from a CNN story today:
“Beyond her style, though, a sense of dignity may be what most defines a first lady. It’s a job that requires the ability to strike a balance between queen and commoner.”
http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/06/18/michelle.obama/index.html?iref=mpstoryview#
Not that I’m surprised, but GEESH. I never thought I’d read the word “commoner” in a news story that wasn’t run off a 100 year old printing press or something.
And a woman contributed to this story–shame on you Randi Kaye!
June 18th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
Softer, gentler AND you’d have to go on The View?
I don’t think I could be First Lady.
Personally I am waiting for the day that the Secret Service are having to deal with protecting the President’s mate as she or he is commuting to and from the White House to their own job and the President has to hire someone to sip tea and give tours of the Rose Garden.
And the whole majesty vs. cinder snipe thing? Excuse me but don’t we live in the 21st century?
June 19th, 2008 at 1:26 am
Personally, “a softer, gentler Michelle obama? I have been a democrat my whole life but this election I will vote Republican. All of this media and hype about this “running candidates” wife is just a load of propaganda by the media. Both her and her husband are wonderful people, but come on people, they are so inexperienced its pathetic that they are running. It seems their entire campaign is funded and dedicated to the rich and famous. Its like “oh wow, all the actors and actresses are supporting them so maybe I should too?” Lets stop this “act”. This is not a game show, or talk show, or anything of that nature but it sure is portrayed as such. I don’t care how “soft” or “gentle” she is, all I know is the comment she made “this is the first time in my adult life that I’m proud to be an American” is pathetic. Neither one her or her husband has any conception of what being proud to “be an American” means. Excuse me, but my father came here from Italy 6 years before WWII and he was proud from the beginning of his arrival to the country and went and fought for 4 years as a “Hells Angels” bomb squad and thank god he came back. I have lost 3 uncles, 8 cousins, 2 nephews all BEING PROUD OF THEIR COUNTRY enough to fight and die for. And NOW AS AN ADULT ITS THE FIRST TIME YOUR PROUD OF THIS COUNTRY…..hey lady get out of town and find any other country as great as ours.
I’m sorry but the democratic nominees are so shallow and lost that I’m ready to move to another country if they are elected. Ciao and GOD BLESS AMERICA and thank God I have been proud to be an American for 57 years.
June 19th, 2008 at 10:53 am
I agree. Good post.
There was talk about her reaching out to Laura Bush this morning on The Today Show. I’m left thinking, why in the world would you want to be Laura Bush. Nothing against Laura Bush, I’m sure she’s delightful, but why would any successful woman, wonderful mom want to be anything but exactly who she is – warts and all.
Show me the not-so-ready for daytime tv Michelle – that is the one that matters!
June 19th, 2008 at 4:38 pm
anon, Michelle Obama explained what she meant very well and we clearly quoted out of context the first time by our biased entertainment driven news media. As for shallow, we are getting exactly what we are putting into our democratic process. Politicians play to our weaknesses and it is we who are shallow and lost. No one should have to give his or her life to prove their patriotism and our founding fathers are spinning in their graves at the thought that dissent and critical opinion are considered “unpatriotic” because that is where our country began.
June 21st, 2008 at 12:08 pm
Michelle is a fantastic person and great role model. I think Obama’s campaign will be careful not to go too far in the soft and gentle cookie-baking direction. They just don’t rest when an attack is happening and they make sure to counter it in one way or another. I think he and his campaign are pretty savvy about how to deal with things so hopefully they won’t go too far in the other direction on Michelle’s image.