As I was thinking about the news of 17-year-old Bristol Palin’s pregnancy, my first response as a woman and a mother was, leave the poor girl alone. I cannot even imagine being in her situation, let alone having to handle it in the white hot spotlight of the national media.
Nor can I fathom fast-forwarding myself to being the mother of a 17-year-old girl in nine years and trying to figure out how to help my own daughter if, heaven forbid, she was going through a teen pregnancy.
I’ve seen some comments around the web that hold Alaska Governor and GOP VP nominee Sarah Palin and her husband responsible for Bristol’s teen pregnancy as a parenting shortcoming – that somehow if they had only been better parents or sent her better messages about the “right” values or been around more, that she would not have gotten pregnant.
I don’t know about you, but I remember what it was like to be a 17-year-old. My parents gave me a lot of good values, but trust me — there were plenty of times when I didn’t think about the lessons taught. I thought I knew everything, that my parents knew nothing and that no matter what crazy thing I did, I’d be OK.
Most teens don’t pay that much attention to the Charlie Brown “Wah-wah” noises they hear from mom and dad, because they think nothing difficult or unfortunate is going to happen to them no matter what they do. Teens are risk-takers and not in a good way.
I’m not trying to become Sarah Palin’s defender by any stretch, but I think we have to be careful in how and whether to discuss this story.
After I wrote my short little note to the main stream media to cut Bristol Palin a break because she’s still only a high school student, one commenter said,
The pregnancy of Sarah Palin’s unwed daughter is not off-limits in discussions of Governor Palin’s fitness to become the Vice President of the United States.
Why? Because your pregnancy is not off-limits to Sarah Palin, even if you are the victim of rape or incest.
Good point, but there’s still a bit of nuance to be had.
There’s no good reason to put Palin’s daughter on display or subject her to more public discussion. But it’s definitely fair game to examine the situation in light of Sarah Palin’s beliefs about no real sex education in the schools and whether now, from her own experience, she thinks that’s such a good idea going forward.
It is fair to push Governor Palin on whether she can now say in good faith that abstinence-only instruction is the way to go in a world where over 60% of all teens have sex before they graduate from high school.
I don’t like that number any more than any other parent in this country. But what I do know is that when the time comes, I’ll have the same discussion with my daughter that my sister had with hers — I don’t think you should be having sex at this point in your life, but I want to make sure you don’t end up with an unwanted pregnancy or a sexually transmitted disease, so here’s what you need to know.
Bristol’s pregnancy is our business only as far as it brings up a future Vice-President Palin’s policies that will effect our children and whether we will retain the rights over our own bodies that so many fought so long and hard for.
But we should be talking about it from the angle of Bristol’s mom, the VP candidate, and not as a nation that sometimes can’t help itself when it comes to the stuff that Us Weekly magazine covers are made of.
September 2nd, 2008 at 5:43 pm
1. Sarah Palin is the VICE Presidential candidate, so she has very little say on any policies regarding judicial appointees, and no matter what might happen to McCain sometime in the future, even AFTER they filled the bench with pro-life judges, the judges would still have to rule against Roe v Wade. Which, we should always be vigilant about that. But putting another Pro-life candidate into office, isn’t going to make all that happen.
2. She can think about taking out sex education and putting in creationism into public schools all she wants to, it’s still up to the states. And if parents don’t want that, they can fight it at the state and local levels. The VP or the President won’t have much to do about it no matter who is elected.
Her view on abortion is the only thing I really don’t like about her or McCain, however, that does not out way all that I do agree with them on.
Plus, I feel like Democrats should practice what they preach! If you don’t want the government to tell you what to do with your body, then you need to stay out of other peoples business too. Lead by example.
September 2nd, 2008 at 5:48 pm
I think the abstinence only education is really the most important part of this conversation. Because clearly, it works so well. I do not think we should be dragging this girls name through the mud. Also, as a mother, I’m outraged she set her daughter up for this. She knew this would come out and what would happen. And it’s not sexist to believe she should have been looking out for her.
September 2nd, 2008 at 7:03 pm
Her mother made it our business. When she decided to support abstinence education and then release the statement that her daughter is pregnant to basically take the heat off of herself, then it became our business.
I don’t agree with hating on either of them, particularly the daughter, who by all accounts is probably mortified. But I do think it’s fair that we question McCain’s camp and the GOP for their decision. I’m just not sure what they were thinking.
September 2nd, 2008 at 7:13 pm
Palin’s choices and stances on issues are the only thing that should be open for debate. Her pro-life stance and her abstinence only views aren’t contradicted by her daughter’s behavior because her daughter is a person in her own right and her decisions are hers – not her mothers.
Regardless of what we like to think about our own prowess as parents, our kids will take what they want from our teachings and advice and examples and do as they decide for themselves.
Turning a the son or daughter of a candidate into an issue is not right. And how is ripping Palin apart as a mother not somewhat – if not completely – sexist? Would we do the same thing to a male candidate? Or if it were a son impregnating as opposed to a daughter being pregnant?
September 2nd, 2008 at 7:15 pm
Good piece.
I think she should be left alone too.
I don’t think any other candidate would be judged on the fact that their teen chose to have unprotected sex, but Sarah Palin will be and I don’t think that is completely fair.
But she will handle it-
who better than a mother of five to handle:
running for VP of the United states,
Getting her son ready to ship off to Iraq,
taking care of her pregnant teen daughter,
while being a mom and wife to the rest of her clan, including her downs-syndrome baby…
ONLY A WOMAN CAN DO ALL THAT
September 2nd, 2008 at 8:44 pm
Forget the kid and the kid of the kid…let’s talk about McCain’s choice and what that says about HIM – his values, his views about women, his views about politics and this “game” he’s playing.
I’m sorry for Sarah Palin’s teen daughter mother-to-be, just as I’m sorry for ALL teen-mothers-to-be. I wish they got straight talk and condoms from their local Planned Parenthood offices…but OOPS! I guess John McCain’s against all that, and so is his unwitting whipping girl, Sarah Palin. God help us all.
September 2nd, 2008 at 10:20 pm
Did you see the latest bit about how Sarah Palin cut funding for a state program benefitting teen moms a place to live?
(http://voices.washingtonpost.com/the-trail/2008/09/02/palin_slashed_funding_to_help.html#more)I
I think that’s what’s worrisome about this whole thing. The teenage daughter should be off limits. But she’s an unwitting uncomfortable and ironic reminder of just how much Sarah Palin’s pov on choice and matters of sexuality is so extreme to so many people. And just so mind-boggling. If you support a culture of life why would you slash funding for a program that allows unwed moms to get on their feet and provide for their kid?
I don’t get it. The whole thing has me utterly discombobulated and utterly rambling.
I mean, I was so thrown, it didn’t even occur to me to be mad at Palin as a mom for setting up her kid for this entire circus. It was just one big “hain?” Or maybe she doesn’t see it that way and sees it as a way of, I dunno, walking the walk. I’m sure we’ll find out soon enough what the daughter thinks – there’s two months more of this craziness.
September 2nd, 2008 at 10:25 pm
Abstinence may not be the only factor here, but adding it to the overall picture of Mrs. Palin’s decision making and leadership does not paint a pretty picture.
http://www.1000demons.com/2008/09/no64-abstinence-plan.html
For Christine above:
According to your logic, we should not examine any of her ideals or policies because she won’t have a say?
September 2nd, 2008 at 10:26 pm
I’d prefer we all stay away from it, since you never really know what goes on in a family and it’s all dangerously close to asking what kind of contraception a minor used, and how is that something that should be shared with all the world?
It does raise some issues about sex ed, etc., but I think it looks opportunistic to pounce on that all of a sudden when it’s not much of a federal issue and there are so many other things we could be focusing on–with regard to Palin’s qualifications for VP, that having a woman on the ticket calls attention to, and that people are just more concerned about right now.
Like I just blogged–a big so-called mommy war over her family doesn’t really get anything done for anybody’s family.
Enjoying your blog–thanks!
Wendy in OR
September 3rd, 2008 at 12:01 am
Any conversation that makes this personal regarding Sarah Palin and what is going on in her family is 1) not going to matter to SP because she already was firm in her belief and this situation is just confirming that belief and 2)imo, there’s no good way to do this without looking like a jerk, at least not right now.
We have roughly eight weeks before levers are pulled, and this will only heat up to boiling with a country filled with Republicans getting backed into a corner like so many Hillary supporters during the primaries, the republicans (!) looking as if they are taking the high road on top of it all.
Obama is already ticked (so it seems) that he’s been pushed into making a statement he probably didn’t want to make and because of Internet rumors and gossip on Kos and Huff Po about the SP pregnancy. Good gravy, in defending Internet rumors brought up in his name, it sounded as if he were defending himself against impregnating Sarah Palin himself. Now this. No matter the intellectual debates that might go on, right now it all smacks of Jerry Springer with the Democrats looking like rabid audience members.
I’m not afraid of this discussion or this debate, but in the whole scheme of things, teen pregnancy is a shiny object and abortion is something that most people have a firm opinion about already. Meanwhile, the economy is the #1 issue on most people’s minds right now, and instead we’re talking part in a simple but effective “look over there” stunt.
September 3rd, 2008 at 11:37 am
Honestly I am less concerned with Bristol’s pregnancy than I am the willingness of her mother to toss her under the media bus in order to have a run at VP. It would take an extremely naive person to think this would not put their child in the hot seat. Being pregnant at 17 is stressful enough but having it debated on national tv would be mortifying. I am so “relieved” to hear the young parents to be will be married though! So now we have a potential VP who disregarded her daughters emotional well being for potential political gain and one who is willing to endorse her daughter being a child bride. I would hate to see how she would try to make my daughters life better!
September 3rd, 2008 at 1:26 pm
We all need to be very concerned about Palin’s religious affiliation. I have been reading that she is part of the Dominionist movement, and Joel’s Army and I did some research on this and found that these people want to overturn the Constitution and apply Old testament law in it’s place. She belongs to the Assemblies of God church. These people become stealth candidates and infiltrate our government and then put their own laws into place.
September 3rd, 2008 at 1:43 pm
Palin’s attitude towards abortion, and esPECially birth control is outdated. Obama has a more modern attitude, saying we need to reduce the number of abortions by preventing those pregnancies in the first place. You can’t go up against 1,000,000 years of deeply encoded instinct and tell people in their prime reproductive years not to have sex.
September 3rd, 2008 at 4:57 pm
I think her abstinence-only position is relevant – her daughter is more proof it doesn’t work. Not that we really needed more proof.
September 3rd, 2008 at 6:48 pm
Bristol herself is not really fair game. Sarah OTOH …
September 4th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
Great post–and exactly what I was thinking. Damn it, you always get stuff up faster than I can! I’ll just have to link to you–again.
Palin’s support of abstinence before marriage should be fair game for discussion. While she may “only” end up being vice-president, she would also “only” end up being one step away from the Presidency. Her views do matter.
Clearly, advocating abstinence hasn’t worked for her daughter, and possibly didn’t work for her, either (I’ve seen reports that her first child was born 8 months after her elopement. . .I do not know whether these stories are true or not If so, you’d think she’d have learned her lesson–UNLESS–Sarah Palin sees nothing wrong with a 17-year old getting pregnant and getting married. Maybe she thinks its all good and fits in nicely with her world view. If it was good enough for me, it’s good enough for you. . .).
While I know a few teen mothers who were fantastic, I don’t know many of them who would wish to repeat the experience. Most wish they would have been able to delay growing up just a little while longer. And few and far between are the early shotgun marriages that lasted and lasted happily.
This woman should not be allowed near our reproductive freedoms. Do we really want her judgment on this issue to potentially affect the lives of everyone in this nation? Ditto on her judgments about abortion.
So, yeah, leave Bristol alone, but mom and her views on reproductive freedom, her support–or lack thereof for services for unwed moms, etc. — are fair game. (And why is it that Republicans who advocate “less is more” government think that getting the government yet more involved with our reproductive lives is somehow okay? And if abortion’s not okay, why is it okay not to help out those teen mothers whose parents are not the supportive parents you are? If you want people not to abort, provide the services necessary to support those who cannot care for their unwanted children. Oh, and adopt a few yourself.
Okay–I’m ranting here. Sorry.