As Congress and the President have been battling it out over who is getting holiday “gifts” of tax cuts and other legislative goodies, it’s made me think that maybe we should be giving them a little something for the December holidays, as well. Nothing fancy because, well, as much as they want us to think that the economy is getting better, I’m watching my spending. But I really think we need to at least pitch on these five items:
1. A dictionary. I know — pretty basic, especially if you’re not headed off to college. But it’s clear that no one on Capitol Hill knows what the word “compromise” means, because last time I checked it wasn’t a one-way street. I think the lot of them from John Boehner to President Obama could benefit from spending a little time with the “C” words — not just “compromise,” but “capitulation” and “charity,” as well.
2. A calculator. I think there’s some crazy new math going on in the halls on Congress. As the mom of a fifth-grader, I know how confusing the new, new math can be. Even adding and subtracting is harder than it used to be, so I’m assuming that’s why the Republicans don’t understand that you can’t fix the budget deficit by going $700 billion into the hole.
3. A copy of Gray’s Anatomy. Because I think a lot of people are looking for their backbone and can’t find it, so maybe an anatomy refresher course on anatomy would help.
4. A field trip to the farm. Our lawmakers have a major problem — they are so far removed from how real people live, that they think we’re all going to be thrilled to keep our “tax cuts,” even if it means throwing a huge segment of Americans under the financial bus. So I’m inviting them to spend a couple of days with my parents at the farm! They are semi-retired, but have to work hard to make ends meet and juggle the complexities of getting the health care coverage they need. Now, our Washington, D.C. guests won’t be getting any fancy accommodations or luxury dining experiences, but they will learn first-hand how real people pinch pennies when putting food on the table (think pasta or stretching a half pound of cheese further than Mickey Mouse ever could) or finding a way to keep an older home warm in the frigid winters of the Northeast. You’d all better bring a sweater or two to wear under the blankies, because there’s no keeping the heat cranked up at night, even in December.
5. A good swift kick in the butt. Just for good measure.
What holiday “gifts” would you like to give our lawmakers?