This is a story that isn’t going away anytime soon, even though I’m sure Komen never thought in a million years that women would react as viscerally as they have.  And that’s why the Komen Foundation is probably finished, because they misjudged their constituency.   Not understanding the motivations of supporters is a death knell for any organization.

But the real story in this whole fiasco is one that most have missed — the role that women in online and social  media had, and continue to have, in bringing attention to a story that Komen must have believed would go relatively unnoticed because the amount of money involved was such a small portion of Planned Parenthood’s annual budget.

The fight against breast cancer is supremely personal in a way many other causes are not.  A true sisterhood was born around this one medical issue  and the bonds of that sisterhood have only grown and become stronger over time.  Women across the country have come together in support of each other to raise awareness for the need to fund the research for a breast cancer cure.  We’ve walked together in pink t-shirts and we’ve taken money out of otherwise tight family budgets to donate to “the cure.”

This sisterhood exists not only in real life, but in the virtual world, as well.  And as anyone who is the least bit social media savvy knows, women rule online spaces.  In the last few years, those women have created powerful brands and successful businesses out of knowing how to leverage those tools for maximum effect.   How any organization could have failed to foresee that tech-savvy women, who are the same ones who’ve been their primary supporters, wouldn’t use those same tools to fight back on behalf of loved ones who need the screening and preventive care services Planned Parenthood offers,  is about the biggest corporate communications failure I’ve witnessed for a long time.

Women felt betrayed and they had the tools and presence to do something about it.

Facebook and Twitter lit up with users speaking out against Komen’s decision, encouraging people to stop giving money to Komen and take it to other breast cancer organizations.  Women announced they would stop “buying pink.” (The issue of pink-washing is another story for another day).  And Beth Kanter, one of the leading authorities of how non-profit organizations can use social media effectively, created the “Komen Can Kiss My Mammogram” board on Pinterest.

Whether Komen was actually using dollars for breast cancer screenings as a political pawn in the war against abortion and women’s reproductive rights, we may never know for sure (though according to at least one report, Komen’s VP for public policy, who is staunchly anti-abortion, was one person behind Komen’s plan to ditch Planned Parenthood.)  But in some ways, it doesn’t really matter now.  Komen has offended its base and there may be no fix for that.

I doubt there is a woman on the planet who doesn’t know someone who’s had breast cancer.  My grandmother had breast cancer.  My best friend died of breast cancer.  And a good and wonderful friend Susan Niebur — a planetary scientist, mother of two, author of the blog Toddler Planet and known as “@whymommy” on Twitter — has been a graceful and eloquent advocate for her particular form of breast cancer. Susan is in hospice and the people whose lives she has touched have been sending their good thoughts and prayers to her through virtual cards being produced by her friend Amy aka TeachMama.

When an organization uses the lives of our friends and families as political fodder, we don’t take kindly to that.  And we know how to raise a ruckus.  And we’re not afraid to do that in the name of good people who aren’t statistics, but who are important parts of our lives.   For those of us for whom this is personal, it doesn’t matter that the amount of money the Komen Foundation wanted to pull from Planned Parenthood was only a small part of that group’s annual budget.  What matters is the message it sent — that keeping political benefactors happy was more important than even one woman’s life.

As one person pointed out to me, the Komen Foundation can do whatever it wants with its money and give it to whichever organizations it believes advances its agenda.  And that’s true.  But as others have said, “Susan G. Komen is dead to me,” and “I’ll never give the Komen Foundation another dime.”   I suspect a great majority of Komen supporters will find those other organizations in a hurry.  I know I have.

UPDATE:  After I write this post, Susan Niebur lost her battle with inflammatory breast cancer.  She is much loved and was a valiant spirit.  For those who are interested, please consider donations to the Inflammatory Breast Cancer Research Foundation.

But she should be.

Betty Ford passed away last week at the age of 93, a woman best known for being the wife of President Gerald Ford who was portrayed by SNL’s Chevy Chase as the clumsy chief executive who thought trimming the Christmas tree meant taking a scissors to the stray branches of the yuletide greenery.

But as a person who came of age in the era of Betty and Gerald Ford, I know that she was so much more than just your run of the mill political spouse, even though many may not remember her that way.  Betty Ford was a stealth feminist and advocate of issues that impacted women in an era when most were loathe to talk about a disease that many women were ashamed or embarrassed to even mention publicly.

Betty Ford wasn’t afraid to speak her mind, which she did in a quiet and respectful way.  As I watched the tributes to her this weekend, I was reminded that once upon a time there was a high profile Republican woman who wasn’t afraid to say exactly what she thought on controversial issues, even when that meant disagreeing with her President husband and bucking her own political party.  Think about it — if any other former First Lady had admitted to substance abuse and then founded a rehab center today, her so-called allies would have distanced themselves from her and her family quicker than John McCain left Sarah Palin in the presidential dust after his 2008 concession speech?  Not to mention that cable news talking heads would have exploded.

Imagine for just one second the wives of Mitt Romney or Jon Huntsman coming out in opposition to the party platform or confessing to being something other than perfect wives and mothers?  Sure, Meghan McCain disagreed with her father from time to time, but she wasn’t all that vocal about it when he was on the presidential campaign trail in 2008.

Betty Ford spoke out about breast cancer at a time when it was the disease no one talked about.  She publicly praised the Supreme Court for it’s Roe vs. Wade decision so that abortions would come out of the back alleys and women’s lives could be saved in hospitals.  She marched with Gloria Steinem.  She admitted her addictions and founded a center to help others who battled those same demons.

And she was a Republican.

I miss that kind of Republican — the kind that isn’t an idealogue and who doesn’t fear the political consequences of not toeing the political line.

Betty Ford is exactly the kind of political woman I want my soon-t0-be sixth grader to know about — whether she agrees with what Betty stood for or not.  Because Betty was a woman of her own convictions and she wasn’t afraid who knew it.

Fortunately, we’ve got some advocates in Washington who are, to paraphrase from the movie A Few Good Men, on that wall for us.  On the Senate floor, Kirsten Gillibrand said this:

“The votes we’re going to have tomorrow — to defund Planned Parenthood, to repeal health care — American women, make no mistake about it, this is an attack on you. It’s an attack on every preventive health service, every safety net, everything that you care about. Whether it’s early childhood education, whether it’s pap smears, whether it’s mammograms, whether it’s pre-natal care when you’re pregnant, that is what their efforts are all about. And you should just know that you have women of the Senate who will stand by you. We have drawn this line in the sand and we will not allow them to cross it. We are your voice in Washington, we are your voice in Congress and we will protect you and the basic safety net and equality that you should expect out of the US government.”

I want her on that wall. I need her and other women in the Senate and in the House of Representatives on that wall — especially with people like Senator Jon Kyl’s who are willing to bend and break the actual facts for their own purposes.

Let’s not forget, Kyl was the one who also wanted to keep maternity benefits out of health insurance plans because he doesn’t need it.  Yup — that’s the kind of Republican party I think some mothers might have a problem with.

Morning after morning, I hear reports about those who want to cut funds for access to contraception and screenings for breast and cervical cancer that American women of all political persuasions get from Planned Parenthood. Conservatives protest the use of pre-tax dollars for breast pumps, claiming it’s an unnecessary tax break for working mothers who need to stay in the workplace to support their families and pump healthy breast milk for their infants.

States like Minnesota are trying to repeal fair-pay laws and local governments are cutting Head Start funds, saying young children should be educated at home (which, by the way, would also help trim budget deficits).

So what decade am I living in anyway?  That’s what I’m wondering over at Politics Daily.

When the likes of Chris Matthews become equal opportunity insulters when they toss around terms like “Balloon head”  and “makeup salesperson” about as many men as women when they question someone’s gravitas, that’s when I’ll stop saying it’s stealth sexism.

As I have said before, nothing is going to change on Wall Street as long as the lawmakers are beholden to the lobbyists.

And I hope that Oprah uses her long lost sister moment to help others understand the issues that adoptees struggle with.  Whilew we’re doing that, don’t forget to join the army of warrior princesses for breast cancer!

Princesses are getting a lot of attention this week with the release of Peggy Orenstein’s new book “Cinderella Ate My Daughter,” a memoir that’s apparently about the culture of raising “girly-girls.”  I haven’t read it yet because I need a little break from “momoirs” for a while because my head is still spinning over this whole Tiger Mother thing.  But if we’re going to fight the Disney marketing machine and how the culture of  frills and flounces impacts our daughters, then we ought to focus on other princesses like “The Paper Bag Princess,”  “Princess Smartypants,” and “The Princess Knight,” just to name a few.  And let’s not forget my favorite non-princess princess Mulan — she’s not really a princess, she’s smarter than the boys and she saves China.  That’s some serious girl empowerment.

But there’s one other non-girly princess in particular that I am hoping you’ll all join me in focusing on –

This is the warrior Lego princess that sits on the desk of my friend Susan who is battling breast cancer for the fourth time in as many years.  But she’s not a girl who soley focuses on herself.  Aside from her family and her work, she’s also an advocate for other breast cancer patients.  Because of her generosity and selflessness, her friends in the blogosphere are trying to help her in her efforts to raise money to provide lymphedema sleeves to patients who can’t afford them (t hey are often not covered by insurance or Medicare).  Kristin stepped up, and then so did Amie and then Jessica and  Leticia and Marty and others.  Plus Amie created this rockin’ button with the princess warrior — head over to her place and grab one for yourself.

So how can I not support Susan in this?  You see, aside from Susan, I have another reason to support her efforts to raise money for others who battling breast cancer.  My best and closest friend in the world lost her battle with breast cancer four years ago.  I know she’d also want me to step up.  If she was still here, I know she would, too.

So, if you leave a comment to this post, I will donate $1 for every comment up to 500 left by Friday, January 28 to Crickett’s Answer who is partnering with LympheDivas to provide women with free lymphedema sleeves, something that helps ease the pain of  undergoing chemo treatment.  And,of course, you can always donate directly if you’d like to do that.

As Amie said at her place, I can’t make Susan’s cancer go away.  If I had one of those Harry Potter wands or Lucy’s flask from the Chronicles of Narnia, I would.  But I can show Susan that I stand with her in her fight and in her effort to help others.  It’s not a lot, but it’s a start.

I hope you’ll join me in kicking cancer’s ass, once princess at a time.

Not enough women writers to keep the column Broadsheet going at Salon.  Really?  I wish they’d called — I could have given them a really long list of great women writers who think about the broad spectrum of politics from a woman’s point of view.

Governor Chris Christie couldn’t come back to New Jersey to be at the helm during the recent blizzard because he was on vacay with his family and it would have mad his wife angry.  Um, if a woman governor had said that, I dare she’d be on her way to an early political grave right now.

My friend Susan has discovered a new recurrence of her cancer.  Cancer is really pissing me off.

The President chose a new Chief of Staff who opposed his health care plan, as well as the new consumer protection agency, but is a big pal to Wall Street.  I’m still trying to figure out how this makes sense other than to help raise money for his re-election.  I’m not seeing the upside for America.

Oh, and there’s also the story about how Tucker Carlson is trying to smear New Yorker reporter Jane Mayer.  Maybe it’s just because Tucker is jealous of her actual journalism abilities.

And I’m still working on formatting the end-notes for “Mothers of Intention!” But I’ll be happy when they’re done!

What made you angry this week?

Image from The Telegraph.

This is cross-posted from Toddler Planet where my amazing friend Susan Niebur, a breast cancer patient herself and a true Mother of Intention, is trying to make it possible for other breast cancer patients to obtain lymphedema sleeves and other services to manage their disease that aren’t usually covered by health insurance.  Please read on and forward this, tweet it, or post it to Facebook to get the word out to those who need help managing the cost of their illness.

Are you or do you know a breast cancer survivor? Please read today’s post and pass it on. If you can’t afford to purchase a lymphedema sleeve, gauntlet, and/or glove, and you can’t manage your post-mastectomy swelling, Crickett’s Answer and LympheDIVAs want to help.

Today, I am pleased to announce a NEW opportunity for breast cancer survivors who have had a mastectomy and/or axillary dissection of the lymph nodes due to breast cancer and have swelling of one or both arms but cannot afford the $200-$500+ cost for two sets of the compression sleeves and gauntlets that survivors with lymphedema must wear every day to keep the swelling in check.

Although lymphedema sleeves are medically necessary, they are not covered by Medicare OR most insurance plans under current law, and thousands of survivors go without the sleeves, needlessly suffering congestion, swelling, and pain that interferes with their normal activities.

Crickett’s Answer, a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization founded in memory of Crickett Julius, has just joined forces with LympheDIVAs to help other breast cancer survivors who fight not just the beast that is breast cancer but also the fallout of side effects that includes lymphedema, which may limit survivors’ activities. By working together, they are now able to provide needed lymphedema sleeves and gauntlets to women who need them but cannot afford them out-of-pocket or convince their insurance companies to pay for them. They do this in honor and memory of their loved ones.

Crickett Julius survived breast cancer only four months, but her mother and cousin are dedicated to helping other women enjoy their life post-diagnosis through Crickett’s Answer, a 501(c)3 organization that provides wigs, mastectomy products, oncology/mastectomy/ lymphedema massage, facials, and other pampering services as a way to help women feel feminine and beautiful after losing their hair and/or breasts.

LympheDIVAs was founded by Rachel Troxell and Robin Miller, friends and breast cancer survivors, who wanted to create a more elegant and comfortable compression sleeve. Rachel continued to build the company during her later recurrence. Even though she died two years ago, at the age of 37, her father, mother, and brother continue to grow the company in her honor and in the hope that LympheDIVAs’ compression apparel will continue to inspire breast cancer survivors everywhere to feel as beautiful, strong, and confident as Rachel was.

To ask for help, please download and complete the forms at Crickett’s Answer, writing in “lymphedema sleeve and gauntlet” on page 2 of the application.

To help someone else, please copy and paste this post on your blog or email it to a friend (or your local cancer center!).

To donate, go here.

To help change the law so that this medical garment is covered by cancer survivors’ insurance, stay tuned for more about the Lymphedema Treatment Act when it is reintroduced in the 2011 Congress.

Because of these women, these three thirty-something women who didn’t ask to get breast cancer, and the men and women who love them, there is now help for women who can’t afford lymphedema sleeves, a medically necessary garment not typically covered by insurance. Their legacy lives on.

Note: Cancer patients who are members of the National Lymphedema Network and who are treated by an NLN therapist can also apply to the NLN garment fund, set up in honor of Marilyn Westerbrook.

UPDATE: Shortly after this was posted, Susan received the news of another cancer recurrence.  You can read more here at her blog.  Susan is one of the most amazing, positive and strong women I know.  If you have a moment, please send good thoughts, energy and prayers her way.  Thank you.

1. Are schools missing an educational opportunity and making much ado about nothing when it comes to “boobies?” That’s what I’m wondering at my post at Politics Daily.

2. I’m pondering the upsides and downsides to group blogging at BlogHer.

3. And I’m talking with some folks about a little something called ‘Social EQ’ over at APCO Worldwide, courtesy of an invitation from David Westcott And Evan Kraus.

Have a happy and restful holiday, and I’ll see you in the New Year!

Image by PunditMom

While I never met Elizabeth Edwards in person (the line was so long at BlogHer ’07, I never made it to the front), I did have a chance to interview her by telephone shortly after that.  I’ve long been an admirer, even when those guys who claim to be journalists who wrote Game Change smeared her as a political she-devil and others mocked and criticized her for the life choices she made.

But I admired her for the choices — even the ones that I might not have made if I had been in her shoes — because she was honest about them.  Plus she was one outspoken, warm, intelligent and politically savvy gal.

We all knew that she would not, in the end, be able to vanquish the breast cancer that had taken over her body, but I think we all hoped she would somehow pull it off, in the same way she pulled off her late in life second motherhood.  Because she was an amazingly strong voice for the things she believed in.  And when she believed in something, she didn’t back down — whether it was championing health care for everyone or, yes, standing by her man even if he didn’t deserve it.

And she was the kind of woman we all wanted to be gal pals with — you could talk with her about public policy, as well as hearing about her love of meatloaf and jammies she bought at Target.

Elizabeth was a great friend to the MOMocrats, a group to which I’ve belonged since it’s inception.  She often told us via E-mails or notes that we needed to keep up the good fight to get more women involved in the political process.  As we mourn the loss of such an amazing woman, I think the best tribute we could make to her is to keep the promise to have more women speak out, run for office and take charge of this crazy, messed up political world.

I have a feeling her daughter, Cate, might just step into those shoes.

Image via People magazine.

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