Image via Wikimedia Commons/Boris Rasin

Herman, Herman, Herman.

Where do I even start with the end of the strange political journey of Herman Cain and his now-defunct presidential campaign?   Cain announced over the weekend that he was suspending his presidential bid because reports of certain lady problems were creating unwanted “distractions.”  His speech was an odd combination of conveying concern for his family and painting himself as the victim of media fascination with what he repeatedly called “unproven” allegations of various types of sexual misconduct, from harassment to alleged assault to a long-time affair.

Cain appeared self-righteous and unrepentant on that sunny stage with his wife Gloria in the background — the woman who not so long ago had proclaimed to the country that her husband had nothing but the utmost respect for women.

But even with his announcement, many unanswered questions remain.

For example, if he knew he was getting out of the race, what was with the almost simultaneous launch of the  “Women for Herman Cain” site? What did his wife Gloria really say to him the night he finally had a face-to-face discussion about Ginger White and her allegations of a relationship and financial assistance?

Will any of the remaining GOP contenders really want the endorsement from Cain, who many believe was only taking a page out of Sarah Palin’s playbook, staying in the mix to sell books and raise his profile for future public speaking?

And was he wearing those sunglasses to keep from squinting or because Gloria had smacked him upside the head after his homecoming announcement?

Cain says he’ll go on talking about the issues and that soon he’ll announce his “endorsement” of another GOP candidate.  But do any of them really want it?

Current political wisdom says Cain is going to endorse Newt Gingrich, who has his own “lady problem” baggage as an admitted adulterer who was having an affair with his current wife, Calista, while pushing for former President Bill Clinton’s impeachment over Monica Lewinsky.  Could Cain possibly be entertaining the thought of a vice presidential bid with Gingrich?  The upcoming launch of Cain’s new site, “The Cain Solutions” would suggest that he’s at least toying with that possibility.

If that happens, will Gingrich accept the endorsement gladly or distance himself from a candidate just as flawed as himself?  Maybe Gingrich and Cain can start their own “lady problem” club.  After Gingrich’s recent meeting with “The Donald,” they can invite Trump for the first meeting.

A version of  post was originally written at iVillage.com.

I’m no fan of Bachmann’s political views or the fact that even though she’s a lawyer, her understanding of the Constitution leaves a little something to be desired.  But I have to hand it to her — she pretty much hit it out of the ballpark Monday night with her performance alongside all those GOP guys.  I find it interesting that most of the male pundits who weighed in after the debate thought Bachmann was just “exceeding low expectations” and that Mitt “I prefer hot wings to mild” Romney was the winner, even though he was just reciting from the same old Romney script we’ve heard for years.

For me, it sure seemed like Bachmann was the clear winner of the evening.

Bachmann was prepared, poised and made sure her answers incorporated two things that are crucial to her campaign — her Congressional experience and her motherhood.  Plus, she lucked out that she didn’t have any camera malfunctions or have to answer any questions about geography.

I have no doubt that she’s going to use the mom thing to her advantage wherever she can, because it worked pretty well for Sarah Palin when she was trying to whip GOP women into a political frenzy.  Being a mom isn’t a political qualification, but it is a lens through which more issues should be viewed on the political stage (did I mention I just wrote a book about that that’s for sale now?) And now that this high profile political mom is officially a GOP presidential candidate, she’s making sure to mention her five biological children and 23 foster children as much as she can so no one forgets her work/life balance story.  (Sarah, I’m afraid her 28 trump your five).

As Bachmann enters the 2012 presidential race, I have to wonder, though, if she’ll be able to maintain that cool, steely exterior once the sexist attacks on her resume?   They are bound to come from all sides.  Remember when former Republican Senator Arlen Specter told her she should be more ladylike as she was trying to discuss tax policy with him?  Or when MSNBC’s Chris Matthews called her a “balloon head?”

While having to watch Bachmann move into the White House is unlikely, what would we get with a President Bachmann?  Taking a look back at her speech earlier this year at CPAC, she’s not just going with the usual Republican agenda — she wants to see extreme conservatism in America.   At the time that I covered the speech for Politics Daily, I wote:

In an emotional moment, Bachmann told the crowd that her mission to turn the country into a more conservative one is something she thinks about from the moment she awakes in the morning. And I believed her, as she declared that America is an “indispensable nation” fighting against socialism and “egregious moral wrongs.”

So watch out, Sarah Palin.  Michele Bachmann is horning in on your conservative mama grizzly territory, as well as your conservative themes, and it doesn’t appear that she cares if you’re the one who blazed a trail for uber-conservative women in the Republican Party.  She’s found that path and I think she’s having it paved for her own personal clear sailing.  She’s working on it 24/7.

Will Bachmann become president?  Probably not.  Will she become the GOP candidate?  I’m guessing no.  Will she shake up the GOP and show them that even for Republicans, things just aren’t the same as they used to be?  You betcha’.

Image via abcnews.com.

When it comes to politicians, my list of no-no’s is a tad more serious. If  you’re an  anti-reproductive choice and/or anti-gay marriage candidate, I won’t listen to your fund-raising robo-calls — the political equivalent of not getting to first base.

I’m sure the GOP and “Tea Party” faithful have their own list of deal breakers.  But the way things are going these days — 17 months before the next presidential election — , those on the political right are quickly running out of viable contenders for the White House before this 2012 campaign even gets started.

For example, Newt Gingrich?  He has no chance.  He’s had three wives and the media has been uber-focused on his wife count.  But the real problem for Newt when it comes to his base won’t be his final spouse count — it will be the back story that’s going to kill his candidacy.  Will Newt treat his supporters in the less-than-respectable way he’s treated his ex-es?  Wife number one got dumped while she was in the hospital for cancer treatment and there are many reports that wife number two wasn’t, shall we say, getting Gingrich’s exclusive attention for a long time.  Mix that questionable personal integrity with criticizing his fellow Republicans and new information about that six-figure charge card debt at Tiffany’s, and it looks like Newt will be out of the race before he has to explain how he’s going to fix the country’s economic crisis while owing more for pricey jewelry than many people pay for their houses.

As for the others?  That necessary political magic combination of substance and optics is seriously lacking:

Mitt Romney — Health care for everyone was a fab idea when he was Massachusetts governor.  Now, not so much and that leaves him between a rock and hard place with both parties. And while it doesn’t bother me, apparently he has an addiction to Power Point presentations that might put voters to sleep.

Sarah Palin — Grammatically-challenged and easily distracted by bright, shiny objects, she might be the one they want, but she won’t be the one they get.   Aside from having to give up her lucrative speaking gigs, Palin knows that extreme social conservatives who love her won’t stand for Bristol-the-unwed-mom and her impressionable toddler son living quite publicly with two single Hollywood guys.  I’m guessing when Phyllis Schlafly caught wind of that one, her beehive just about blew up.

Michele Bachmann — Being geographically-challenged isn’t a good quality in a President.  I give her a lot of credit for managing 28 kids over her lifetime (five biological and 23 foster children) and she’s sure to be e darling of her Fire from the Heartland sisterhood, but even with her law degree, I think she needs a little primer on current events before the majority of Republicans consider her a possibility.

Tim Pawlenty — Can you really trust a former governor who seems to have a close personal relationship with Just for Men hair color?

Ron Paul — I’m not sure he’s going to get a lot of traction with a “Let Them Drink Unpasteurized Milk” platform.

Congressman Peter “I’m going to hold hearings on whether American Muslims are terrorists” King?  South Carolina Governor Nikki “the rumors of an affair with a blogger won’t die” Haley?

Bueller?

The last time a field of GOP presidential candidates looked like this, former Kansas Senator Bob Dole was the Republican choice, and we all know how that turned out.  So with the GOP field looking like that group of slightly nerdy high school kids who really hoped for a cool prom date, but ultimately had to go just as a group of platonic friends, it might be time for the Republican leadership to reach out to one of those dating services like eHarmony or Match.com to find their next superstar candidate for the base to fall in love with, because the normal selection process feels like going on a series of bad blind dates.

Maybe a few well-placed ads that read something like this?

Major political party ISO leader/partner, age 35+, with proven track record of truth,  frugality & fidelity. Knowledge of geography and grammar a plus.   Must be experienced in keeping commitments, both personal and professional.  Should love elephants, the American flag, long walks on the beach, porch swings and sunsets.

With Mike Huckabee and Donald Trump out (though I think we all have to admit at this point that Trump was never really in the race), Gingrich fading faster than you can say ‘I don’t know anything about that Tiffany gift box in the corner,’ and Palin more interested in millions of Facebook fans than millions of voters, if the GOP doesn’t act soon, they’re going to be left with former Minnesota Governor Pawlenty (a guy that most Americans have no idea of) or Speaker of the House John Boehner and his ‘tears are the new black’ approach to political engagement.

Not that a field of less than stellar GOP candidates really bothers me all that much!

Image via Tiffany & Co.

I know that’s how I should be feeling, but I can’t seem to stop my brain from multi-tasking long enough to focus on any one topic or any one task.  I thought I was going to be able to leave that behind my in 2010, but it looks like this bad habit has followed me into The Year of the Rabbit.

Part of this is due to all the last minute work that must be done on Mothers of Intention, and part of it comes from a fabulous new job – the kind that I have been working toward and longing for, shall we say, forever.  And the part of my brain being on spin cycle all day, every day comes from the continued craziness on Capitol Hill — the GOP withholding increased budget spending for securities cops on Wall Street and safer food, a Tea Party-inspired call for something dubbed a Constitutional Authority Statement for all legislation proposed in the House of Representatives (last time I checked, the judicial branch was the ultimate authority on that, not elected lawmakers), that always wacky Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia who now says gender discrimination isn’t barred by the 14th Amendment of the Constitution, and the President praising Philadelphia Eagles quarterback and convicted felon Michael Vick as the poster child of second chances, while ignoring two women who have been sitting in Mississippi prison cells for over a decade and now are only getting released because one is willing to pay an exit fee — one of her kidneys.

*insert deep sigh of resignation here*

I know the calendar says it’s the beginning of a new year, but it sure doesn’t feel like it with all this political nonsense.  I’m keeping my fingers that at least one person in Washington, D.C. will have the backbone to use a little common sense that will help us all.

You can watch the full speech which was a little on the bizarre side, especially the part about only dead fish going with the flow. She said she’s not wired like a normal politician and doesn’t want to advocate for Alaska in the usual manner and so is starting down this new path for Alaska? Palin compares herself with a point guard in her decision? She sure seemed like an overly caffeinated point guard to me and the people of Alaska have to be asking themselves, “What were we thinking when we elected her governor?”

These are some really concerning ramblings by a woman who came awfully close to being the Vice President of the United States. And after reading the Vanity Fair article about her just today, I have to believe she still has political aspirations — but if so, her actions make absolutely no sense. Maybe in her mind she is carving out a new path to political fame, but it seems like it will be a winding and unlikely path.

Palin says this decision has been in the works for a while, partly because some have mocked her son Trig? Really? I haven’t heard any of that. To be honest, her ramblings made no sense and really made me question what is really going on here. And, if she had become vice president, would she be resigning that office today? Or is there some oddly crafted plan to run for the Senate in 2010 or the White House in 2012? And why would anyone vote for her again if she can’t even last four years in the Governor’s office of a sparsely populated state?

There’s sure to be a lot of speculation and analysis over the coming days and I, along with many others, definitely want to be there to see how this unfolds.

My biggest hope is that the very strange tale of Sarah Palin doesn’t dissuade other mothers of small children from running for office. There’s something to be said for having that perspective in state houses, governor’s offices and in Washington, D.C. I hope the strange path that Sarah Palin seems to be on doesn’t keep other moms away from the political world.

I think there’s more to explore and examine on this story and I am looking forward to writing about it in the coming days!