Are the “sex lives” of our teens any business of presidential hopefuls?  Should the Plan B pill, also known as the “morning after” pill or whether we give our daughters the vaccine that prevents cervical cancer even be on the list of debate topics?

That’s what I’m writing about this week at my Spin Cycle column at Babble Voices.  Let me know what you think!

I haven’t had any guest posts written specifically for Mothers of Intention for a while.  But when my friend Casey (you may know her better as Moosh in Indy) told me about her current insurance situation, I asked her if she would become a Mother of Intention for me.  About two seconds later I had her response.

I really want the anti-health care reform people in the blogosphere and in Congress to read this — the ones who don’t believe there’s any excuse for not having health insurance.  The ones who think they’re all ‘conservatives don’t need help from anyone.’  Because I pray you never find yourself in the situation Casey and her family is in now.  But I’d be willing to bet money that the anti-health care reform people at least know someone who has a story similar to Casey’s — it’s just not politically expedient to admit it.

And Casey — thank you, my super-kind and gentle friend for writing this about your pregnancy and lack of health insurance.

I am one of the estimated 40 million American citizens without any form of health insurance.

Of course, that is one organization’s estimation. There are other estimates that don’t count the number of people who are uninsured yet qualify for government programs or people who make over $50,000 who choose not to purchase private health insurance. When you subtract these people the number ends up around eight million.

Why am I uninsured? Several reasons, the first being that my husband’s job does not offer any benefits aside from a salary. The reason we do not have private insurance is because we simply cannot afford it and we’re not sickly enough to justify the expense. The last reason we do not have health coverage is because we do not qualify for any government programs — we utilized them while he was in school; however, we lost coverage as soon as he graduated and began working. Up until now we have used a clinic that offers a flat cash fee for services and we’ve only had to use it once. There is comfort in the fact that we would not be denied care if we needed it, but at the same time there is a sting in the fact that we would be paying so much more money than someone who had insurance. It’s a very shady business this health insurance stuff.

However, in August I found out that I am pregnant after years of infertility and being told it simply wouldn’t happen again. My first thoughts were not ones of joy — they were ones of sheer panic. I was not insured. I nearly died from a condition known as Hyperemesis (severe nausea and vomiting) with my first pregnancy and just last year I watched a friend lose her house because she was uninsured and pregnant, as well. I began calling every insurance company and state resource I could find. The responses I received ranged from “Well, we’d be happy to cover you when you’re not pregnant anymore” to “You realize if you would have had insurance all along this wouldn’t be a problem right?” I began to look into free and low cost clinics with sliding fee scales, one administrator actually laughed at me when in response to, “What does your husband do?” when I answered, “He’s an attorney.”

Yes. My husband is an attorney. A profession that many of America still sees as one that brings in six-figure salaries, full benefit packages and black luxury cars. The truth is that my husband’s gross income after we make our monthly student loan repayments is actually below federal poverty level.  But we make it work. We drive twelve-year-old cars held together by duct tape and we don’t have fancy smart phones or even a land line. Our grocery budget is meager and our washer and dryer barely work. But we make sacrifices that allow me to stay home with our daughter, something that is more important to both of us than iPhones, vacations or new cars. I am a freelance photographer and am blessed to be able to contribute a small amount to our family’s income.

But back to the insurance. I have options. I have exhausted every resource I can find and drained anyone I know of information. A nurse in Indianapolis found a midwife who is willing to cover all prenatal care for a flat fee of $3,000 and a hospital that is also willing to take a flat fee of $3,000 for a completely normal no frills delivery. This is fantastic, assuming nothing goes wrong. Another option is to re-enroll in school allowing me to join a student group insurance plan where pregnancy is not considered a pre-existing condition.  My last option, short of plunking down a Visa card at the OB office, is the Federal Pre-Existing Insurance Plan. Started in July, this insurance plan is supposed to cover people exactly like me until pre-existing conditions are considered non-existent by insurance companies, which won’t be for several more years. I applied within a half hour of hearing about it and was denied because I had been uninsured for the last year. I actually had to go through the entire process of applying for private insurance, simply to be denied so I could reapply for the Federal Pre-Existing condition program. Silly, but I’ve jumped through bigger (and sometimes stupider) hoops. I’m still waiting to find out if I will qualify or not.

At the end of this, I will hopefully end up with a happy, healthy baby just as I did with my first pregnancy. But I have been very sick and while there are medications that can help (I’m looking at you Zofran) they (and even their generic versions) are outrageously expensive (However, there is no shortage of people willing to commit federal offenses to get me their Zofran. I have politely declined all offers.) There have been days where I could have felt a lot better had I been able to receive an IV, something I did weekly during my first pregnancy but it’s just not an option at the moment. It would be a huge relief to me if something could just work out, which I know it will, I just don’t know when.

This is how it should be — you get pregnant, you go to the doctor, you have the baby, you come home. A pregnant woman’s biggest worries should be, “Can I keep this horse sized prenatal vitamin down?” or “Where’s the closest bathroom?” not “I wonder how many cash payment doctor’s appointments I can skip over so I can still put food on the table?”

If I were single? This wouldn’t be a problem.

If my husband weren’t working? Again, wouldn’t be a problem.

But this isn’t how we’ve chosen to live our lives. We’ve chosen to follow the rules, gain higher education, work and be married. And you know what? It’s a lot harder than we thought it would be but it’s how things should be done, and eventually one day maybe things won’t be so tight. But for now they are. And we have to live with it.

I have gone back and forth on my feelings towards the whole issue. There was one particularly low moment where I actually hoped for miscarriage. I’m not saying I’m particularly proud of it, I’m just telling you the truth. It’s not really worth stomping my feet and gnashing my teeth because I am the minority and I just happen to live in a state where coverage is not guaranteed upon finding yourself pregnant, and, yes, things are changing. There are options out there for people in my situation, but they are few and they are hard to find.

Not to mention that everyone else has an opinion as well.

Home Birth! Move to Canada! DIVORCE FOR NINE MONTHS!

Oddly enough, one of the hardest things to deal with is having so many people who want to help, but not having any way they can help. I mean, I’ll let you come over and scrub my toilets any day, but beyond that? This gestation stuff is going to be my responsibility.

If Aunt Bea was still around, I think she’d like it how things are working out with Medicare better than they did with that medicine man!

The release of Walmart’s study for the 2010 election entitled, “Who Can Win the Walmart Mom?” takes a look at not just mothers, but also who fits the demographic mold of a typical Walmart customer and what those women are concerned about when deciding how to vote in November.  While much of what’s in the report didn’t come as any big surprise to me, there were some fascinating tidbits that those running for office should definitely pay attention to — because you know what happens when you don’t listen to your mom!

It turns out that most of the women polled for this Walmart report voted for Barack Obama in 2008 and voted Democratic for other candidates then, as well.  For 2010, however, a majority of them are unhappy with Congress, are skeptical about health care reform legislation and are leaning toward voting Republican, even though they usually vote blue.

The report paints a picture of who the typical Walmart mom is — she’s a white, educated woman under 45 with a couple of kids under 18 with a middle-class income, but who thinks her family is really a lower class family when it comes to finances.  Of course, there are large numbers of women they polled who don’t fit that description, but the majority of those polled did.

And what is that women are focused on for the 2010 mid-term elections?

Not a big surprise, since that’s been the story at least since Bill Clinton ran for president.  Lots of reporters are all abuzz about this all new, very shiny theory that will shed light on how things turn out in November!  But here’s the thing — people love to put labels on women who are mothers to try to distill us into groups that can be addressed in tidy little soundbites.  Those who want our attention and our votes do that at their own peril.

One thing I found interesting about the event I was invited to to hear about this study was this  — the majority of those in the room were middle-aged white men.  Some of them chuckled and rolled their eyes at the thought of these mothers worrying about anything other than putting food on the table and saving money.  The women on the panel — a representative from Walmart and Margie Omero, the Democratic pollster who worked on the study, didn’t think it was any laughing matter to review and analyze the voting patterns, habits and concerns of these women.  As they spoke, it was clear they took the information seriously.

So are Walmart moms the new soccer moms?  Politicians, pollsters and officials would be a lot better off if they stopped trying to put a label on us (of course, this one isn’t even really new – it’s been around since 2008)  and actually focused on what we’re concerned about in addition to the economy.  Just because the economy is at the top of our list, doesn’t mean we don’t have a lot of other interests on our plate, as well.

When all those people can stop seeing women who are mothers as nothing more than a one-dimensional stereotype that can be dissected for political purposes, they’ll get a lot more involvement and a lot more of our votes, regardless of which side of the political aisle we’re on!  Because the thing is this — no one likes being labeled, especially when a label becomes shorthand for something akin to a backhanded compliment.

For the politicians, pollsters and, yes, even businesses like Walmart, I’ll just say we are paying attention to all the things that concern us, even when we’re pinching pennies, juggling our work lives and businesses, trying to decide how we can afford health care for our kids and driving to soccer practice.

And by the way, where were the real Walmart moms?  I’d love to hear them weigh in!

My friend Susan, better known around these parts of the bloggy-sphere as WhyMommy who writes at Toddler Planet, is one of my heroes because she doesn’t take any crap from cancer.  She’s having surgery today for a recurrence of her Inflammatory Breast Cancer and a few of us wanted to show our support by talking about something else that Susan is passionate about — science.  Susan is a scientist extraordinaire so Jean from Stimeyland has organized a virtual science fair for Susan to let her know that we stand by her in her efforts to support cancer research and for many other reasons, too.

While I promise I will get around to a debrief of our China trip, I figured what better science to share than a few shots from our trip with PunditGirl — believe it or not, there was plenty of science to strike a ten-year old’s fancy in a different country.

There was an empress mummy (my photos aren’t loaded yet, so thanks YouTube!),

panda “research,”

Sorry if you’re tired of seeing cute panda photos!

and interesting natural rock phenomena.

Yes, it was mostly a heritage trip, but science is everywhere.  And as PunditGirl has developed an appreciation for science thanks to some fabulous teachers, she was just as interested in the “learning” aspects of our trip, as she was in the sightseeing and in the more emotionally-charged portions of our journey.

Susan, I hope you don’t think I’m wimping out on a science post by using some photos from our China trip.  There is plenty of other science in our life — PunditGirl and her class just finished a section where they created their own soaps, lotions and potions, as well. But the science she was exposed to on our trip was fascinating!

(I do admit, though, it took me a minute or two to get used to looking at that mummy!)

We love you, Susan.  We’re thinking of you and getting ready to see you SOON, ’cause we know you’re going to kick some cancer ass!

Aside from whether the summit was more serious policy discussion or brilliant political stagecraft, I have to put the obvious question out there — where were the women? You know, the women who make the bulk of the health care decisions for their families?  The ones who make sure all the insurance paperwork gets submitted?  The ones who fight to find health coverage for their families when a few ear infections and a broken bone get a whole family labeled uninsurable because of “pre-existing conditions?”

Sure, there were some staffers in the background and an expert or two wearing skirts.  But other than that — not so many women lawmakers, at least compared to the sea of older white guys.  Of course, when women only make up about 17 percent of Congress, it is sort of hard to have them represented at the table on anything — there just aren’t enough of us!

I’m sort of surprised that the media noticed at all.  Dan Rather commented in a back-handed sort of way:

“If more women were in the room, might the debate have been different? If there were more women in Congress … might our politics be less rancorous and might our elected officials get more accomplished? There’s a school of thought that is emerging that suggests the answer is yes.”

A school of thought?  An emerging suggestion?  The funny thing about that remark is this — no one is screaming at Dan Rather for making such a wild, crazy suggestion that women might run things differently and get us different results!  Yet, when Congresswoman Carol Shea-Porter essentially suggested the same thing recently, she was crucified by the  far right for being a sexist!

Fortunately, one Congresswoman spoke up at the summit.  Congresswoman Louise Slaughter (D-NY) reminded us that when women aren’t included, how an entire issue is viewed becomes skewed.  And she wasn’t just talking about politics — she was also referring to medical studies that are relied upon in treating women that don’t include women in the studies!

Unless we’re willing to do something about it, though, neither of these phenomena — lack of inclusion of women in medical studies and too few women in Congress — will change.  I know it’s hard to step up to the plate on that one, but surely there are more women out there with the intestinal fortitude to go “woman a mano” with the guys.

As for the substance of the discussion at the health care summit, can anyone confirm that this is what the Republicans proposed?   It wouldn’t surprise me — this idea costs the government nothing, supports the business lobbies and would stimulate certain aspects of the economy!

Photo, Getty Images

If we stop talking about costs, profits, regulation and party politics and focus on the stories of people who are sinking as a result of the insurance mess we have now, maybe we could find a way to take care of each other.  Lately, I’ve been avoiding Keith Olbermann’s special comments, but this one struck a nerve and I hope it somehow resonates with a few people in that room at Blair House as they’re putting on a nice show for the American people.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Finding a way to take care of our families and friends when they are sick so we don’t all go into bankruptcy.   As I say sometimes — yeah, I’m all crazy like that.

“As I said to some friends … in the press, we will go through the gate. If the gate is closed, we will go over the fence. If the fence is too high, we will pole vault in. If that doesn’t work, we will parachute in. But we are going to get health care reform passed for the American people for their own personal health and economic security and for the important role that it will play in reducing the deficit.”

Thanks to my friend Mike Kruger on the staff of the House Committee on Education & Labor for giving me the head’s up on this great quote.  I feel a tiny bit more confident that those who need health care won’t be left out in the cold.

I heard about Congresswoman Carol Shea-Porter’s (D-N.H.) comments before they hit the mainstream media yesterday, thanks to XM Radio channel POTUS (Politics of the United States!) — send the men home and we just might  get health care reform done!

The poor congresswoman is taking all sorts of flack now for that comment with Republican men crying, “SEXISM!”  But is it sexist if it’s true?

If both Democratic and Republican women are having chats in the ladies’ rooms of Congress and really are rolling their eyes about the men who can’t seem to agree on anything, then there’s probably some truth to her point.

For the most part, women are the ones dealing with care-giving issues for children, parents, in-laws, sisters,  and extended family.  How can lawmakers really weigh in on what’s needed to address these issues unless they’ve got first-hand experience with some of them?  Of course, there are some men who take responsibility for these issues, but it’s a pretty safe bet that most men in Congress, given the generations they are from, have not been the primary person in their families taking on these issues.  And until you’ve lived those experiences, it’s easy to have conversations about the more abstract issues of health care legislation (and how to keep your insurance company campaign contributors happy) than it is if you’re the one who’s had to deal with insurance companies denying coverage for needed medical care, watch family members be denied coverage or figure out if what little money they have is going to be spent for medicine or food.

So Shea-Porter is taking fire from the GOP who claims she should be focused on getting legislation passed to help her constituents instead of making what they’ve called inappropriate remarks.  I think that’s exactly what she’s doing.  It must be hard for the men on Capitol Hill to hear the truth.  But they can’t escape it by trying to call it sexist. And last time I checked, truth was an absolute defense!

1. My very new friend Anissa, whom I’ve admired from a afar in the blogosphere for some time, had a stroke this week.  She’s 35.  And has a husband and three kids.  And loads of friends who are praying for her.  I can’t get my head around this one.  How is this even possible?  If you want to see if there’s a little something you can do to help her family, you can take a look here.

2. Other things I can’t grasp?  Now we’re not supposed to get mammograms until we’re 50, so all the 49 and under crowd can just wish and keep their fingers crossed that they’ll be lucky and won’t get breast cancer until they’re older?

Tell that to my friend Susan.  Or my friend Debbie. Or my late friend Marjorie.  Or Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz.  Or countless other women we’ve known under the age of 50 with no family history or risk factors who saved their lives by getting screening mammograms.

I have no problem with medical experts revising their opinions based on medicine and science about what works and what doesn’t, but the timing of this report seems awfully suspect, as we’re debating other health care for women, including abortions and contraceptives (yeah, they want to prevent federal funding for that in health care reform, too), as well as care for women who have been victims of domestic violence. I understand from a wonky friend that the way the current health care bill is written, the insurers under the legislation will only be required to pay for things that are ranked “A” or “B” by the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force.

The USPSTF has now given screening mammograms for women 49 and under a “C” rating.  You do the math.

Already half a million women a year die from breast cancer.  How many more will now not know  they’re a ticking time bomb because insurance companies might not be required to pay for screenings because of this new recommendation?

3. And speaking of bombs, don’t even get me started on hungry children.  Seriously, we’re spending almost $900 billion on two wars this year, but we don’t have enough to feed 13  million hungry Americans, over four million of whom are children?

When I clean up the mess from my head explosion, I’ll try to gather my thoughts a little more eloquently.