I sometimes use my experiences as PunditGirl’s mother as a lens through which to view issues that are important to me.  But PunditGirl isn’t the only daughter in my life.  I also have two adult step-daughters.  They don’t need me much at this stage of the game — they’re women with their own professional lives and relationships and, yes, one of them is married with a toddler of her own — another girl.

The presence of three different generations of girls in my life colors how I view this day — Women’s Equality Day — that many are celebrating.  And it’s not a happy color.  I was tempted not to write anything about Women’s Equality Day because, in all honesty, I can’t think about it without laughing and crying at the same time.

Equality?  We’re not even close.

Sure, we’ve come a long way, as the saying goes, but that doesn’t acknowledge just how far we still have to go for anything resembling true equality for women in America.  President Obama issued a proclamation yesterday stating that although women have achieved a lot in terms of gaining the vote and participating in politics that “disparities remain.”

So how does he explain to his daughters and mine why more isn’t being done to fix that once and for all?

Nothing close to equal pay for equal work exists for women.  While the president did sign the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act, he and his administration have dragged their feet on making the Paycheck Fairness Act — one that would mandate equal pay — a priority, notwithstanding their continued promises to do so.  Ledbetter only gives women (and men) additional rights to sue for back pay and benefits after they find out they’ve been discriminated against.  Various commissions and committees established to promote, study or advance the idea of paying people fairly and equally for the same work only delay real change.

Women are still fighting to be treated equally and fairly in the workplace when it comes to getting paid sick days and paid family leave for the birth or adoption of a child or to care for other family members.  In order to have flexibility in some jobs to manage the work/life balance dance, there are women who agree to be paid only 80 percent of full wages, even though they’re really working 120 percent, putting in time at home once the kids are in bed, just to get the scheduling flexibility they need without the fear of losing their job.

Women are still fighting for fair treatment when it comes to health care — some men on Capitol Hill still believe that health insurance shouldn’t have to cover maternity benefits, and coverage for injuries from domestic violence incidents can still be denied under some policies pre-existing condition language.

Women are still less than 20 percent of Congress, women publish less than 20 percent of op-eds in major newspapers, and women are still significantly less than half of governors, as well as law firm and accounting firm partners.  Women might make up close to 50 percent of the workforce these days, but that is hardly the equality we’ve been looking for or deserve.

So how do I explain all that to my daughters and, yes, to my granddaughter when she’s old enough to understand?  My stepdaughters are adults and know that things are the way they are.  But PunditGirl, as she enters middle school, still believes the story we tell all our kids — that boys and girls can do the exact same things if they want.  Which is true in a limited way.  We as parents don’t have the nerve to tell our daughters that they’ll only get paid three-quarters of what the boys make.  We conveniently leave out the part that as girls they will face obstacles, barriers and ceilings, both glass and cement, that I had assumed in my girlhood we wouldn’t have to worry about anymore in the 21st century.

In his proclamation, President Obama stated:

Women’s rights are ultimately human rights, and the march for equality will not end until full parity and equal opportunity are attained in every State and workplace across our Nation.  It remains our responsibility to ensure that the principles of justice and equality apply to all Americans, regardless of gender, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, disability, or socioeconomic status.  If we stay true to our founding ideals and the example of those who insisted upon nothing less than full equality, we can and will perpetuate the line of progress that runs throughout our Nation’s history for generations to come.

I agree with all of that and to have the President of the United States acknowledge that women’s rights are human rights is crucial to making any strides for true equality.  But it’s time for the President and others who use these words to take actions that make them a reality.

So forgive for not inviting you all over for a Women’s Equality Day celebration.  I’ll save my party for the day when the idea of a governmental commemoration devoted to women’s equality is as ridiculously outdated as those 1980′s power suits with the big shoulder pads they said I had to wear to be viewed as “equal” to my male colleagues.

Image by Joanne Bamberger.  All rights reserved.

After meeting with Katie and so many of her great staffers last week, I have been thinking about the similarities between her, the first solo woman network news anchor, and Hillary Clinton, the first “viable” woman candidate for President.

As I read Howard Kurtz’s article, I realized I wasn’t the only one noticing some parallels:

“She is trailing in a highly competitive contest against her male rivals, is occasionally covered in a condescending way and faces predictions that she’ll be forced out of the race.

Katie Couric understands what Hillary Clinton is going through.

‘I identify with her to a certain extent because we share a gender,’ the CBS anchor says. ‘I’m sensitive to coverage that can be very subtly stacked against her, maybe a headline that has a little more snarkiness about her. . . . I understand that kind of coverage because I’ve experienced it myself.’ “

So as I wondered a little while ago, how are we ever going to get to a point where we are ready for a woman president if many think we’re not ready for a woman solo nightly network news anchor?

As I’ve been letting this roll around my brain, it occurred to me that it’s not a matter of whether we’re ready for women in ultimate positions of authority. The problem is that so many hold women to higher and different standards than men who have the same qualifications. And when women are perceived to have fallen short, the attacks aren’t far behind.

Or has she succeeded and people are just ignoring it? The ratings for the CBS Evening News aren’t all that different from NBC and ABC. Could we call that a success?? I would.

We need Katie to stay put AND to succeed on the terms that others have set because her job is still viewed by so many as a ‘man’s job.’

Just like the Presidency.

We need the traction of some high level female success so that starts getting the media attention, rather than the stories about women “opting out,” a nice phrase coined to get away from saying “failed.”

I’m not trying to put pressure on my new “BFF” Katie, but I really hope she’ll stay around for a while. Things aren’t looking good for Hillary Clinton at the moment and we sure could use some high profile examples of strong, successful women if we’re ever going to get a real shot at putting some estrogen into the Oval Office, let alone the major news organizations that shape our view of women’s success.

(Katie Couric photo courtesy of Kimberly at Petroville, my new karaoke partner in crime! Karaoke photo courtesy of Mom-101. Yeah, she was there, too!)

A no-brainer, especially for someone like me who spent years in the broadcast news business. No, I never made it to Katie’s level, but it is still in my blood. So getting a chance to meet with her and pick her brain about her views was like offering PunditGirl a sleepover on a school night — a gift so unexpected that you would never even entertain the thought!

I didn’t have a chance to get her views on the presidential campaign, but maybe next time I’m in town??

But I did get to add my two cents to the discussion, hoping to get across that plenty of us out here in the blogosphere are much more than “mommy bloggers.” Sure, lots of us happen to be moms, but we’ve got more to say and write about than what time the playdates are and whose birthday party is this weekend.

One small step for mommy bloggers, one giant leap for woman-kind!

Photo courtesy of fellow MOMocrat Beth B. and CBS.

Public places would have more “rest” facilities for women since the lines are always so much longer than for the guys.

Men would be required to do half of the child care for their own kids and every employer would have on-site day-care facilities.

And while I’m at it, I’ll hire Clive Owen and John Cusack to clean my house and cook the meals! Hey, it’s my fantasy, right?

I do believe there is plenty of truth to the argument that loads of things would be better if women ruled the world.

Dee Dee Myers has beaten me to the punch in bringing this discussion to the main stream media.

Myers, the former press secretary to President Clinton, ponders in her new book, Why Women Should Rule the World, an obvious question — just why aren’t there more women in charge of things given the demographics:

Women make up half of law school graduates and roughly a third of all lawyers. But they account for only 15 percent of partners in law firms or federal judges, and 10 percent of law school deans or general counsels at Fortune 500 companies. Women make up nearly half of medical school graduates — but only a quarter of doctors and 10 percent of the deans of medical schools. They are 20 percent of university presidents, but still woefully underrepresented in tenure-track teaching positions, especially in math, science, and engineering. How would a giant increase in the number of women at all levels change law, medicine, and academia?

Yeah, I’ve been wondering that for a long time, too.

We might have a chance to see how that works if Hillary Clinton can overcome the current political situation and move back into the White House in January.

While I’ve made no secret that I cast my ballot for her in my state’s primary election, it’s not a woman president that’s going to get us started down the road to world domination. Things have to start changing in our neighborhoods and our workplaces before our country is ready for a woman to take the helm.

If we can’t even get our society, especially so many employers, to see the importance of having more women lead law firms, head up universities and hospitals, and run businesses, how can we get one controversial “girl” to be in charge of Air Force One?

I’m ready to start trying to convince the guys that I’ve got more to talk about than school pick-up and playdates, how about you?