Dear Anderson Cooper, I’m Not Lazy. I’m Just Efficient

Mon, January 9, 2012

Making Our Political Voices Heard

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I’m a long time fan of Anderson Cooper‘s journalism on CNN. And, truth be told, I’m also fond of that tight black T-shirt of his!

But I digress.

As much as I enjoy some of the perspectives he presents on his CNN show, I’m stunned that this newsman-turned-daytime-host is dragging us back to the Mommy Wars, complete with teasers that some mothers who work outside the home will be accusing stay at home moms of being lazy!  OK, maybe I’m not stunned — I’ve been around long enough to know that daytime TV is all about what’s going to grab the ratings.  And mom-on-mom verbal abuse is always a real crowd-pleaser.

But I really expected more from Anderson, the man who’s still “keeping them honest” about politics and the Middle East and Bernie Madoff, and all that other newsy stuff we need to know about it.

I did wonder if the show would include anyone from my “category ” — the work-at-home mom. And according to the show’s site, he’ll be chatting with a mom who works from home as a phone sex operator!  After taking a longer look at his site’s call for upcoming show guests, it seems he’s got plans to mine the topic of working mothers vs. “housewives” for a while.

Now, I know I don’t fit into this whole mommy drama thing exactly.  I’ve been working from home for a long time.  And I stopped taking these Mommy Wars things personally, either when Hollywood weighs in or when I overhear a not-so-kind comment about women who don’t “go to work” in offices when I arrive for school pick-up.  It’s just too tiring.  But now that our daughter has entered the world of tween-dom, and is actually thinking more about what she wants to be when she grows up, I really don’t want her hearing anything about this manufactured drama with its images of women fighting with each other over how to work and be a mother.

Perhaps Anderson could use a copy of Welcome to My World: Stay at Home Moms vs Working Moms.  Yes, it’s the same topic, but I guarantee you, it’s a respectful look at how so many of us have come to make the choices we have.

As my wise friend Liz reminded me, it’s always a tough question about whether to bring attention to shows like the one Anderson is cooking up for this week because it only fans the flames of these parenting skirmishes.  I’m definitely going to be on look out, though, to see if he’s preparing a similar program on this “debate” among fathers.  If he does I hope he puts a call into some of the Babble Voices dads and some others I know. Maybe Shawn would be a good choice, because he’s got that whole dad with a backpack thing going on!

But if does Anderson insist on taking his viewers into the parenting war zone, he could at least humor us by wearing that black tee.

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9 Responses to “Dear Anderson Cooper, I’m Not Lazy. I’m Just Efficient”

  1. Jodie Says:

    As a journalist who ditched my 15-year career, oh, two weeks ago, to become a stay-at-home mom, I’m thinking Anderson needs to ditch his producers who came up with this worn-out topic.

    I have a better idea…how about an interview with the hottie single father of three in my 3-year-old’s early childhood class I met today who took notes during the parent discussion and had some great advice for me about my daughter’s tantrums. Or my BFF who is giving birth within the next week to a baby conceived by an anonymous sperm donor who I helped pick out.

    If Anderson’s producers need any more of my help to find some real parenting topics, I’ll be at home….doing nothing. :)

  2. Mom101 Says:

    I’d like to think that the opposite of “busy” isn’t “lazy” – it’s probably balanced.

    Or balanced, to whatever degree that’s possible as a mom, wherever you do or don’t work.


  3. PunditMom Says:

    Liz, I think we both know that “lazy” just gets more ratings. :(

    Jodie, I’m sure we could all come up with some great ideas for Anderson & his producers, but any show that tosses out the topic of “lazy” stay at home moms isn’t looking for actual stories. Perhaps more of a Jerry Springer moment?

  4. Tammy Says:

    The fact is that *some* working moms do think that *some* (not all, but definitely some) SAHMs are lazy. I’m one of them. Maybe he could have phrased the show title better, but it’s not as though this issue is settled.

  5. Susan @WhyMommy Says:

    I am so TIRED of celebrities trying to fan the flames of a manufactured controversy like SAHMs vs. working moms when the TRUTH is that we don’t have time to be angy with each other – we’re all trying to do what’s best for us, our careers, and our family. Women bear a disproportionate amount of the heavy load when it comes to family and household duties, and if we are to succeed at that (whatever that means) we have got to start ignoring these people and keep our noses to the grindstone.

    Or as a good friend says, “Man, if you all banded together, you could rule the world!”

  6. PunditMom Says:

    Susan, I guess until shows like this aren’t about more than ratings and selling commercials, it will be like this. If only one of the women producers on this show would stand up to it.

  7. Cheeky32 Says:

    Thanks Joanne for having a wonderful site for us to give our comments. Each woman has the right to decide if she will be a SAHM or a “go out of the house” mom. What we do as wives, moms, girlfriends, is as important as the males’ choices. Women have got to learn to stop being so catty with each other. The men laugh at the way we treat each other.Women need to learn how to be respectful and courteous when they hear of other women’s practices even when they conflict with our choices. I wrote a comment on another popular women’s site(whose name I will not give) about mothers supporting their daughter’s right to privacy from dad when she has her period. Guess what? Some women who don’t believe in females supporting one another, attacked my comments with the ugliest attitudes.

  8. Sarah Says:

    I am certain is was completely staged for the ratings. It just can’t be possible that these so called “Mommy Wars” are still going on. We are so far past this.

  9. Devrie Says:

    @Tammy. Why is it even a subject worth discussing that “some” working moms think that “some” SAHM are lazy? Some working moms are lazy, too! Whether you SAM or work, work has to be done with children, and either your husband does it, a babysitter does it, or you pay a childcare to do it. Some women are definitely lazy. Some stay at home and watch television while their children run around and make a mess and learn nothing. Some mom’s want nice clothes for themselves, and pay everyone else to clean their homes and watch their children.

    People are all different. There are always going to be losers across the board! Why does that even matter? It doesn’t unless the ideology is pervasive, in that working moms generally think SAHM’s are lazy. That’s the only way it makes a show, otherwise, who cares if Molly admits that Suzy is a good SAHM with a clean home and well-cared for kids, but Jenny is a lazy couch potato with chip-fed kids. “Some” is not very controversial. “Some” should be implied!

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